KU's Most Wanted: Gershom and Eliezer

Earlier this week, a college professor claimed he was beaten over his views of intelligent design:

Douglas County sheriff's deputies are investigating the reported beating of a Kansas University professor who gained recent notoriety for his Internet tirades against Christian fundamentalists.

Kansas University religious studies professor Paul Mirecki reported he was beaten by two men about 6:40 a.m. today on a roadside in rural Douglas County. In a series of interviews late this afternoon, Mirecki said the men who beat him were making references to the controversy that has propelled him into the headlines in recent weeks.

“I didn't know them, but I'm sure they knew me,” he said.

Mirecki said he was driving to breakfast when he noticed the men tailgating him in a pickup truck.

"I just pulled over hoping they would pass, and then they pulled up real close behind," he said.
"They got out, and I made the mistake of getting out."

He said the men beat him about the upper body with their fists, and he said he thinks they struck him
with a metal object. He was treated and released at Lawrence Memorial Hospital.

“I'm mostly shaken up, and I got some bruises and sore spots,” he said.

Douglas County Sheriff's Officials are classifying the case as an aggravated battery. They wouldn't say exactly where the incident happened, citing the ongoing investigation.

The sheriff's department is looking for the suspects, described as two white males between ages 30 and 40, one wearing a red visor and wool gloves, and both wearing jeans. They were last seen in a large pickup truck.

Some, however, think "Tawana Mirecki" (a reference to Tawana Brawley hoax) may be faking his assault, such as those linked to in this Michelle Malkin post.

But Mirecki was beaten by two men, and I have evidence in black and white.

Exodus 4:20 And Moses took his wife and his sons, and set them upon an ass, and he returned to the land of Egypt: and Moses took the rod of God in his hand.

Clearly, the two sons of Moses (Gershom, and Eliezer) set upon Mirecki (the ass) and beat him with the rod of God (probably a “metal object”) before returning it to their father, Moses. All police have to do is find Moses and take possession of the rod for forensic analysis.

Case closed.

This of course has to be true, because a liberal college professor wouldn't lie about a hate crime would they?