November 23, 2010

Strong Willed


Another day on the road and a chance to talk to some fellow firearm owners, who I try and meet up with if there's a range anywhere near where I have an evening free.

Conversations in groups like these are as varied as we are. But like always, we talk about those Gone West, and someone says "gee, I need to write a will".

I guess even though I hope to live another 50 years before that tragic naked jet ski accident, I'd best get one as well, if only so people know who gets my firearm and cookbook collection as well as custody of Barkley the labrador retriever. I imagine it will involve an attorney, but if I had my way, my will would simply be this. . .

Brigid's Living Will

I BRIGID DURHAM, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means and at taxpayer expense. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass seventh-grade biology if their life depended on it, or the hands of the doctors/lawyers who want to run up my already huge hospital bill. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

A pint of Guinness
A Medium Rare Steak
A Terry Pratchett novel
My laptop for blogging
Bladerunner, or Firefly and the Remote
My 1911-A1
Reloading goodies
Fresh boxes of .223
A Smith and Wesson 66
An Omelet with Bacon and Cowboy Potatoes
a piece of apple pie
and a slow kiss

it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such determination is reached I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. Note: if the "Rev." Jesse Jackson shows up at my bedside, someone, please just shoot me and make it quick.

At this point, it's time to simply ask my friends to raise their glasses and toast the good times we had, preferably after an honorary range match. Don't buy flowers. Please don't put my cremated remains in any $3000 designer urn that looks like Mickey Mouse, a Nascar vehicle or an Acorn. Scatter me on the water somewhere and give the money to a good conservative military organization. . . . if there's any left.

Signature: ___________________________

Date: ___________________________

P.S. I hear that in the Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors

Posted by Brigid at November 23, 2010 12:35 PM

I want the .308! :)

Who am I kidding? You'll outlive me by 50 years.

Posted by: Tim at November 23, 2010 01:13 PM


"tragic naked jet ski accident". Love it! If you have to go, don't go quietly. Have fun...a lot of fun....laugh, live, love.


Posted by: SWModel66 at November 23, 2010 01:51 PM

If we are dividing up Brigid's toys, I want in on it. Will travel.

Posted by: Professor Hale at November 23, 2010 03:26 PM

Is that list your "living will" or a list of reasons for men to fall in love with you?

Bladerunner AND Firefly? *swoon*

Posted by: ViolentIndifference at November 23, 2010 09:23 PM

@ViolentIndifference: I was thinking the same thing only about the Guinness and the steak...

Posted by: Don at November 24, 2010 09:14 AM

I think I have it figured out. I'm leaving my tools to my brother, my ammo and supplies to Tam, and the compost pile to the local Democratic Party.

Posted by: Brigid at November 25, 2010 10:31 AM

Unlike the Democratic party, good things can grow in compost.

Posted by: ViolentIndifference at November 25, 2010 11:10 AM