January 28, 2005
Hugh Hefner To Take Over Interrogations at Gitmo
"The attractive woman strutted into the room wearing a revealing miniskirt, a bra, and a skimpy thong. The man was tied to a chair and helpless to defend himself. As she removed her bra and tossed it at him, he closed his eyes and began to pray. She touched her breasts, rubbing them against the man's back, commenting on his apparent erection. He lurched forward and cursed at her. With a smile, she pulled down her thong and sat on his lap, grinding her exposed behind against his crotch. The man screamed and began to cry like a baby."
Okay, that was from the bachelor party of Liberal Larry's brother, but it sure sounds like what happened to terrorists during interrogation sessions in Gitmo, according to a story by some AP reporter named Paisley Dodds. Paisley? Yeah, I'm sure someone named "Paisley" doesn't harbor liberal bias, but that is a whole other kettle of fish...
Anyway, liberal outrage aside, I have a simple question: how is this "torture" any different than say, Paige Davis' mock strip tease for charity? Was the torture that the terrorists in Gitmo didn't have dollar bills to tip with, or that they didn't like the color of paint they chose for the cell walls?
Woodchippers, branding irons, and pliers are acceptable tools of torture in Islamic countries, but a Frederick's of Hollywood thong isn't. Yeah. What they consider torture sounds like a good night to most guys I know.
My opinion? If you see it on Cinemax every night of the week, it probably isn't torture.
Of course, I'm just a conservative, so I could be wrong.
Update: So I don't get called the next Armstrong Williams, in the interest of full disclosure, I do sell "items of torture" at Confederate Yankee Store, Blogger Gear, and Conservative Blogger Gear, and another store I'm somewhat ashamed to admit I have at Cafepress.com.
Alert the mainstream media
