Festivus Does Not Impress Us

I don't "get" Festivus.

And I don't care that I don't get it.

I'm sorry that you aren't a Jew to celebrate Hanukah, or a Christian to celebrate Christmas. Deal with it. The vacuum of faith in your life does not mean that I should celebrate the inadequacies of your spirituality with a made-up holiday.

Have fun griping about inadequacies real and perceived if that is what mimics Confession for you. Enjoy the weak reflectivity of a stark aluminum pole, while I snuggle with my wife in the soft warm glow of lights on the Christmas tree.

Just don't expect me to help you celebrate a hollow, soulless holiday inspired by a a show about nothing.