November 12, 2004

Dear Mr. "Swift"

I read with some amusement the almost coherent babble on your new web site. I find it quite interesting that you blame "the South" for a Bush re-election, when in fact, the "reddest" counties were in the Midwest and West, including every county bordering your home base of Madison, WI as well. I'm sorry that we can't all be as urbane and enlightened and indeed, mature as you are, but let's try to face some factual problems with your little hatefest, shall we?

The Second Amendment, sir, is about making sure Americans have sufficient arms to prevent tyranny, sir, which would by definition included military-capable arms of the day, including what you erroneously call "assault weapons" in your ignorance of the mechanics of the law and of firearms design.

In addition, you didn't kill half a million people in the Civil War. Of the 618,222 men who died in the Civil War, 414,152 died from disease, not combat. When it comes to combat losses, the South lost 94,000 and the Union lost 110,070. Also, the war was fought primarily about states rights, not slavery. Do get you facts, correct, sir. They seem to be in short supply in your region, or at least, in your house.

"We" founded this country? "We" did not include Wisconsin, sir, as one of the 13 colonies. You may also want to reconsider you conscending, arrogant "we started this country" diatribe, as you, in fact, did not.

Both the Mecklenburg Resolves (May 31, 1775) and the Halifax Resolves (April 12, 1776) preceeded the Declaration of Independence, and The Halifax Resolves were the first formal call for American sovereignty. The first American military victory was also in North Carolina, at a place called Moore's Creek where on February 27, 1776 a thousand North Carolina patriots routed Scottish Highlanders for the first patriot victory of the Revolutionary War, months before the official Declaration of Independence was was signed on July 4th. Southerners also fought and won the turning point battle of the Revolutionary War at Kings Mountain, wiping out Ferguson's forces, killing or capturing every man. The Battle of Cowpens, made famous by Mel Gibson in The Patriot was also a major victory in the Carolinas in 1781, which led to the eventual defeat of British Forces in Yorktown, Virginia, which the last I checked, was part of the South, under the command of General George Washington, who was also a Southerner from Virginia. The Revolutionary War was decided in the South,sir, by the South, sir. Perhaps you should review your history.

You would like to whine about taxes and self-sufficiency, sir? We can play that game as well. It is hearby decreed that every county in the U.S. that voted "Blue" should be entitled to keep every single dime it produces in tax revenue. Will that make you happy, sir?

In exchange, the "Red" counties will not longer be required to provide these predominantly urban "Blue" areas with "Red" food and water. You'll have your tax money, but you'll be dead in a month from starvation and disease, sir. I guess we simple Southerners will share that orange juice amongst ourselves, won't we?

One last comment: regardless of party, a Southerner has been in the White House for five of the last six Presidencies, and that trend shows no signs of stopping, sir.

So enjoy your cheese, sir, and feel free to enjoy your whine as well, while we Southerners run the country for another four years.

Good Day, sir.

Posted by Confederate Yankee at November 12, 2004 01:45 PM