April 11, 2006

Bush Annexes Mexico In Surprise Oval Office Ceremony

In a move anticipated by Instapundit blogger Glenn Reynolds last night, (now former) Mexican President Vicente Fox signed over sovereignty of Mexico to American President George W. Bush this morning in Washington, D.C.

Citing rampant corruption within his own government, poor economic planning and internal development under his regime that has left Mexico bereft of a middle class, Fox said, "it is the only right thing to do for the Mexican people. Generations of Mexican government has proven we have no business running a country."

"At this time, 12 million Mexicans are already taking advantage of the American economy and have developed a taste for American services. It seems only fair to extend the rights of America to the rest of my former country."

While a beaming Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was present for the impromptu and hastily prepared signing, the Administration firmly rebuked charges made by anonymous sources that Rumsfeld had threatened an "undocumented redeployment" of America military forces to secure Fox's signature.

Upon hearing of the historic agreement, Colorado Congressman Tom Tancredo hastily called for the construction of a border wall separating the new American States of Chaipas, Campeche, and Quintanta Roo from illegal aliens infiltrating from Belize and Guatemala.

President Bush reassured Tancredo that existing immigration laws between the former Mexican States and it's two southern neighbors would "remain the same" as they were under Mexico's immigration laws. This means future illegal aliens would not have rights to public political discourse, certain basic property rights, equal employment rights, and that illegal immigrants may be expelled for any reason. Tancredo was said to be satisfied.

Halliburton could not be reached for comment.

Posted by Confederate Yankee at April 11, 2006 10:26 AM | TrackBack

Faster, please.

Posted by: Dan tdaxp at April 11, 2006 11:48 AM

Humor aside, I feel the time to restart "Manifest Destiny"is upon us! Let's offer the nice people of Mexico U.S> Citizenship and all of the goodies that come with being part of the United States of North America.

There would soon be a minimum wage, all the corporations who moved South would have to start paying taxes, and we all could benefit from the wealth of raw materials available. Plus, a border with Central America would be smaller and easily defended.

As for Canada....

Posted by: dc at April 11, 2006 01:09 PM

Has anyone been able to confirm this story I havent seen it on any of the news wires or anywhere on the internet for that fact????

Posted by: 81 at April 11, 2006 01:16 PM

Just satire, 81... for now.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at April 11, 2006 01:20 PM

Sorry CY,
I should have read the eintire things instead of hitting a couple of points and then jumping to conclusions.
As for the issue I believe it will probably not happen espcially if Fox's heir apparents opponent wins, he likes the us even less then good ole Castro does.

Posted by: 81 at April 11, 2006 01:26 PM

Great article! I was thinking the same thing the last few days, but never got around to 'making the proposal'. This crazy idea solves everyone's problem: Mexico's corrupt and ineffective government would disappear, and they would no longer have to send their citizens north to survive. We gain the taxes from the businesses and retired Americans who migrated to Mexico. Homeland Security (what a joke) could just take over Mexico's borders, and our legal systems would not be clogged with illegal--excuse me, "undocumented"--immigrants.
This is a better policy than the Rube Goldberg contraption that the Senate is considering.

Posted by: SCH at April 12, 2006 12:00 AM

dc, I thought Canada was already one of our territories and had already been annexed. :)

Posted by: seawitch at April 12, 2006 07:24 AM