May 09, 2006

God and Man at Krispy Kreme

When I was a kid we went to Sunday School. Often as not, we'd learn something about the Bible or being a Christian through a story pulled from the Bible, and other times, we learned from parables made up to teach Christian moral ideals. I'm old enough now to read things of my own choosing and have done so for many years, but the power to teach contained in a simple parable still never ceases to amaze me.

I was sent the following parable in an email from my father this morning. If you are a Christian this is something you might want to pass along to others. If you aren't a Christian, and are of another faith, perhaps you might find this disturbing, and find yourself asking how your "donut" is paid for.

If you are one think who thinks the very concept of religion is stupid... well, this was written for you, most of all.

There was a certain Professor of Religion named Dr. Christianson, a studious man who taught at a small college in the western United States. Dr. Christianson taught the required survey course in Christianity at this particular institution. Every student was required to take this course his or her freshman year, regardless of his or her major. Although Dr. Christianson tried hard to communicate the essence of the gospel in his class, he found that most of his students looked upon the course as nothing but required drudgery. Despite his best efforts, most students refused to take Christianity seriously.

This year, Dr. Christianson had a special student named Steve. Steve was only a freshman, but was studying with the intent of going onto seminary for the ministry. Steve was popular, he was well liked, and he was an imposing physical specimen. He was now the starting center on the school football team, and was the best student in the professor's class.

One day, Dr. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him.

"How many push-ups can you do?"

Steve said, "I do about 200 every night."

"200? That's pretty good, Steve," Dr. Christianson said. "Do you think you could do 300?"

Steve replied, "I don't know... I've never done 300 at a time."

"Do you think you could?" again asked Dr. Christianson.

"Well, I can try," said Steve.

"Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I have a class project in mind and I need you to do about 300 push-ups in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it," said the professor.

Steve said, "Well... I think I can...yeah, I can do it."

Dr. Christianson said, "Good. I need you to do this on Friday. Let me explain what I have in mind."

Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, the professor pulled out a big box of donuts. No, these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend with a party in Dr. Christianson's class.

Dr. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia, do you want to have one of these donuts?"

Cynthia said, "Yes."

Dr. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?"

"Sure." Steve jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Dr. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk.

Dr. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe, do you want a donut?"

Joe said, "Yes." Dr. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?"

Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut. And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten pushups for every person before they got their donut.

Walking down the second aisle, Dr. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was on the basketball team, and in as good condition as Steve. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship.

When the professor asked, "Scott do you want a donut?"

Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own pushups?"

Dr. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them."

Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then."

Dr. Christianson shrugged and then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?"

With perfect obedience Steve started to do ten pushups.

Scott said, "Hey, I said I didn't want one."

Dr. Christianson said, "Look, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and these are my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk.

Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow.

Dr. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry. Dr. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?"

Sternly, Jenny said, "No."

Then Dr. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten more push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did ten....Jenny got a donut.

By now, a growing sense of uneasiness filled the room. The students were beginning to say "No" and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks. Steve also had to really put forth a lot of extra effort to get these pushups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.

Dr. Christianson asked Robert, who was the most vocal unbeliever in the class, to watch Steve do each push up to make sure he did the full ten pushups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. He sent Robert over to where Steve was so Robert could count the set and watch Steve closely.

Dr. Christianson started down the fourth row. During his class, however, some students from other classes had wandered in and sat down on the steps along the radiators that ran down the sides of the room.

When the professor realized this, he did a quick count and saw that now there were 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.

Dr. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.

Steve asked Dr. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?"

Dr. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your pushups. You are in charge now. You can do them any way that you want." And Dr. Christianson went on.

A few moments later, Jason, a recent transfer student, came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled in one voice, "NO, don't come in Stay out!"

Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come."

Professor Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten pushups for him?"

Steve said, "Yes, let him come in. Give him a donut."

Dr. Christianson said, "Okay, Steve, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?"

Jason, new to the room, hardly knew what was going on. "Yes," he said, "give me a donut."

"Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?" Steve did ten pushups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.

Dr. Christianson finished the fourth row, and then started on those visitors seated by the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each push-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. By this time sweat was profusely dropping off of his face, there was no sound except his heavy breathing; there was not a dry eye in the room.

The very last two students in the room were two young women, both cheerleaders, and very popular. Dr. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a doughnut?"

Linda said, very sadly, "No, thank you."

Professor Christianson quietly asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?" Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow pushups for Linda.

Then Dr. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?"

Susan, with tears flowing down her face, began to cry. "Dr. Christianson, why can't I help him?"

Dr. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, Steve has to do it alone, I have given him this task and he is in charge of seeing that everyone has an opportunity for a donut whether they want it or not. When I decided to have a party this last day of class, I looked my grade book. Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade. Everyone else has failed a test, skipped class, or offered me inferior work. Steve told me that in football practice, when a player messes up he must do push-ups. I told Steve that none of you could come to my party unless he paid the price by doing your push ups. He and I made a deal for your sakes."

"Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?" As Steve very slowly finished his last pushup, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 pushups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.

Dr. Christianson turned to the room and said. "And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, on the cross, plead to the Father, 'into thy hands I commend my spirit.' With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, He yielded up His life. And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten."

Two students helped Steve up off the floor and to a seat, physically exhausted, but wearing a thin smile.

"Well done, good and faithful servant," said the professor, adding, "Not all sermons are preached in words."

Turning to his class, the professor said, "My wish is that you might understand and fully comprehend all the riches of grace and mercy that have been given to you through the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He spared not only His Begotten Son, but gave Him up for us all, for the whole Church, now and forever. Whether or not we choose to accept His gift to us, the price has been paid."

"Wouldn't you be foolish and ungrateful to leave it lying on the desk?"

I'm not (overtly) trying to convert anyone, but this is a pretty good parable of Jesus Christ's sacrifice, and it might strike a cord with those who have become immune to a message that is told often, but told often badly. I think of this parable and what I picked up in the fast-paced novella Dinner With a Perfect Stranger and it makes me sad to see the 1,400 years fighting and dying going on around the world in the name of a certain other prophet and his god.

Steve in the story above paid for your donut whether you wanted it or not, and while he would offer it to you, it was never forced upon you.

That other prophet operates quite differently, doesn't he?

Posted by Confederate Yankee at May 9, 2006 08:33 AM | TrackBack

W.O.W. I am a Christian, and found myself forgetting to breathe after 1/2 the story.

Posted by: Cass at May 9, 2006 10:36 AM

Nice Job.

Posted by: WB at May 9, 2006 10:42 AM


Posted by: Bill at May 9, 2006 12:26 PM

That was powerful! Thanks for posting this.

Posted by: Nephos at May 9, 2006 01:21 PM

Wow, that professor is really cruel and stupid. I'd never want to take a class with him. I think I'd complain to the university and see if I could get him reprimanded for cruel practices. He hurts everyone in his class and all for no point. If he wanted to give everyone a donut, he could. He set up the stupid rule that kept him from giving the donuts, and then he put into place and even stupider one that let him. I think he must be insane.

Posted by: Surel at May 10, 2006 06:05 PM

Steve displayed the sin of pride. He's not Christ-like

The teacher was cruel, offering temptation that he could freely give, and providing only suffering to both Steve and the class. He is not Christ-like, but is the serpent from Genesis.

Christ only asks for your belief - but he does not seek to guilt his followers into believing in him. This "parable" is clearly the devil's work, and has deluded the good people of this board.

Posted by: Adrian Karel at May 10, 2006 06:13 PM

Nobody ever said Steve was Christ, Adrian. It was a parable attempting to explain the magnitude of Christ's sacrifice to those who were not able to apprecaite it. You've missed the point entirely.

Interestingly enough, Adrian's probably fake name and proven fake "" email address seems to indicate that if their is a snake in our midst, it is he.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at May 10, 2006 08:02 PM

Story reposted here; take a look. Good points made.

Posted by: Gordon Schumacher at May 10, 2006 10:04 PM

I wrote this in reposne to Gordon, and dropped a copy after reading his addendum on his site:

And yet Gordon, YOU wrote that addendum, putting your words in Professor Christianson's mouth, didn't you? It's quite easy to mock others when you control them, twisting their words and deeds, misrepresenting them in a way that makes YOU feel superior as you belittle them. I think someone did that in the Bible. He wasn't one of the good guys.

It's a small, shallow cut you make, Gordon, but not once of significance. Mostly I just feel sad for you, that you really think you can have whatever you want without paying for it. There is always a price paid by someone, for everything. Those that say their isn't a price, that strings aren't attached, might just be trying to sell you something you can't afford.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at May 10, 2006 10:30 PM

Actually, Yankee, Gordon did not write the response; this should be clear when you notice that the URL he provided as his own is different from the URL he sends you to.

There is one thing that bothers me deeply about the story, and it's something that bothers me that I see in too much of modern Christianity. It's summed up in the last line:

"Wouldn't it be foolisn and ungrateful to leave it lying on the desk?"

Now, part of the story, a personification of the redemption, suffering undertaken as a labor of love to give a gift, that's fine. As a Wiccan and a shaman, I understand and appreciate that theme deeply.

But is that the end of the story? That it is good to labor and to sacrifice to do good for others? No... the final bit of the story is "people who aren't like us are foolish and ungrateful."

And that's what bothers me.

Because, you see, many people see no "doughnut". It's not an obvious, visible thing to them. And they have only the word of people long dead to trust that suffering occurred to bring about the gift.

And what is the response of many Christians? Well... to call them ungrateful and foolish.

Rhetorically, I'd ask if that's what Jesus commanded, but I imagine we both know the answer... he commanded his followers to love one another enough to die horribly for them, even if they'd be met with anger, and hostility.

Now, which is easier... to die horribly, while facing anger and hostility, or to develop some empathy, and try to understand others? Surely, a Christian who loves others, as Jesus commanded, would also exert the effort to understand how others might see the message, yes?

And yet, that effort is too-often not expended; I imagine a great many Christians see non-Christians exactly as the story described them: as foolish and ungrateful.

Posted by: John Palmer at May 11, 2006 12:58 PM