November 07, 2006

A Belated Pre-Election Message From Osama bin Laden


Pardon my Farsi.

I tried to deliver my traditional pre-election fatwa message weeks ago, but Predators keep blasting missiles into every video-laden donkey that leaves the cave, and the jackass meat covering the mountainside is starting to smell like an ACORN voter drive. Or Michael Moore.

I'm even reduced to wearing last election's campaign buttons.


Nevertheless, as Allah (PBUH) wills it, I have been able to highjack an evil Jew-lover's neo-con blog (at least until the generator runs out of gas again) and I will use it to pronounce the glorious message of al Qaeda:



I and my fellow freedom fighters demand this of you, and you will comply.

The American people should bow to fate and accept the glorious defeat that Allah (PBUH) and the Democratic Party have planned for you.

If you do this thing, we shall promise to kill you last, after the Jews, the homosexuals, the uncovered women, the idiot america soldiers, the Christians, atheists, the cast of The View, and the French.

It is only after you do this thing that you will be at peace with al Qaeda... for now.

Well, that, and you must avoid tall buildings, crowded public areas like stories and malls and the stadiums where men in helmets slap each other's fannies after tackling one another (disgusting), the walmart, excetera.

Stay in your home or mosque, and all will be forgiven until the end.

Also, Thank you Senator Kennedy for the talking points.

We will behead you last of all of the infidels.

Posted by Confederate Yankee at November 7, 2006 11:28 AM | TrackBack

Hilarious. Excerpted and linked.

btw, just got word from Russ Vaughn that they're giving Kerry another Purple Heart ... for shooting himself in the foot.

Posted by: Bill Faith at November 7, 2006 02:05 PM

Outstanding, thanks for the laugh!

Posted by: Rich Edwards at November 7, 2006 03:28 PM

Did Kerry sign the warrant himself, again...Now that he has four can we send him back to Vietnam ?So he can be where he belongs, and while we are at it, he can pick up Jane and Motha sheehan and take them with him.

Posted by: MarkT at November 7, 2006 03:39 PM

We send him back to 'Nam only if Murtha drives the convertible that they travel in.

Posted by: Mike H. at November 8, 2006 02:28 AM