April 12, 2007

Ten Fred Thompson Facts

From U.S News & World Report:

  1. Fred Thompson has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
  2. Fred Thompson once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
  3. Fred Thompson has counted to infinity. Twice.
  4. Fred Thompson is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
  5. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Fred Thompson played in second grade.
  6. When Fred Thompson goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
  7. Fred Thompsonís house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
  8. When taking the SAT, write "Fred Thompson" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
  9. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Fred Thompson. There were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
  10. Fred Thompson ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

At least I think that is from U.S News & World Report.

I hired Katie Couric's producer as my fact checker, and now I'm not so sure.* *

Posted by Confederate Yankee at April 12, 2007 12:51 PM

LOL... a welcome break from the Chuck Norris Facts(tm).

Posted by: Jeff at April 12, 2007 01:15 PM

You sure that you're not getting Fred confused with Jack Bauer?

Posted by: lawhawk at April 12, 2007 02:20 PM

Yeah, I want to be Jack Bauer because everywhere I go there would be a satellite I could use to see what is around me and there would NEVER be a cloud between me and that satellite.

Posted by: crosspatch at April 12, 2007 03:23 PM

This article, and those items, #1 through 10, has been plagerizied by the Katie Couric Crew! It should read Nancy "Grandma" Pelosi in lieu of Fred Thompson!! At least that's what Charles Gibson over at ABC probably thinks. Upon discovery of this blatant reversal of facts it is believed Gibson exclaimed..."Well I'll be a nappy-headed hoe!"
Al Sharton wasn't notified of this alleged incident, apparently he was too busy for comment, as he was "handlin bidness" looking for more D sized batteries for his bullhorn. Ex- D.A. Nifong refused comment, but with head in hands, mumbled something about not touchin another hoe with a 10 foot pole (not sure if this was a reference to people of Polish descent). That's all for now. Hey! Who put the chopped ham in my Koran?!

Posted by: jihadgene at April 12, 2007 10:40 PM

Here are some others on Fred.
1 His current wife is younger than his oldest daughter would be (if she hadn't died from a drug overdose)
2 He was the one that coined the phrase that killed Nixon's presidency "what did the President know and when did he know it"
3 Most of his adult life was spent as a lobyist for big corporations
4 He doesn't look as good or as well in real life as he does on TV
5 How can someone who strongly supports the Cuban embargo always be smoking those Cuban cigars ?

Posted by: John Ryan at April 14, 2007 04:32 PM