May 30, 2007

Double D to make a go of it...

...and Fred!'s making a run for the White House.

If your political adviser looked like that you'd listen too.

The Politico is reporting that Fred! is going to announce his bid for the Presidency over the Fourth of July Holiday, and that his wife, Jeri, will wear a star spangled bikini throughout the race.

Fred Dalton Thompson is planning to enter the presidential race over the Fourth of July holiday, announcing that week that he has already raised several million dollars and is being backed by insiders from the past three Republican administrations, Thompson advisers told The Politico.

Thompson, the "Law and Order" star and former U.S. senator from Tennessee, has been publicly coy, even as people close to him have been furiously preparing for a late entry into the wide-open contest. But the advisers said Thompson dropped all pretenses on Tuesday afternoon during a conference call with more than 100 potential donors, each of whom was urged to raise about $50,000.

Thompson's formal announcement is planned for Nashville. Organizers say the red pickup truck that was a hallmark of Thompson's first Senate race will begin showing up in Iowa and New Hampshire as an emblem of what they consider his folksy, populist appeal.

Okay, Jeri might not be in the bikini, but it'd be a whole lot cooler if she was. Plus, they'd have the 18 - 32 year old male and LUG (lesbian until graduation) vote nailed down.

Think about it: Double D or Shillary: Who's significant other would you prefer to check out during the State of the Union addresses? If they could even get Billy Jeff to show up.

When asked about his platform Fred! said instead of amnesty he'll annex Mexico and send the ingrates who booed Rachel Smith packing for Venezuela. Okay, he's not admitting to the annexation part, but he know he's got a way with the pretty ladies, so we could count on him to at least send in a couple of special ops teams to deal with the unruly mobs when they taunt our wimminfolk.

Really why the hell would you boo a young lady who looks like this in a bikini:

Wondertwin powers activate!

The only logical explanation for the booing. They're pissed a majority of American women still have most of their teeth and weigh less than 200 pounds after the age of 40. Side question and yes I realize its stereotypical and probably bigoted, but here goes anyway. What is it about the Mexican diet that keeps the men relatively fit as they age while the women, um, expand exponentially?

Go ahead, call me a bigot and remember to insult my southern heritage while you're at it, but don't forget to answer the question.

Posted by phin at May 30, 2007 10:17 AM

It is too late for me. Not even Fred could make me come back to either of the two parties that act as if they are members of family royalty. I am done. I will no longer implore others to vote.

Posted by: mekan at May 30, 2007 01:10 PM

By not voting, you are voting for Shillary's communist dream.

Posted by: jbiccum at May 30, 2007 01:52 PM

I would say it is due to division of labor, not food. In New Mexico the women work inside and spend much of the day sitting (and seriously working). The men are active outside if the farm (or near my hometown, they own orchards

Posted by: David at May 30, 2007 02:36 PM

You know, I've had the same question about my Italian kinfolk...the women are smokin' when young but once they hit 40...

Posted by: Nico at May 30, 2007 02:56 PM