William Jefferson may get an extended vacation.

Maybe Paris can give him a couple of prison fashion and survival tips.

Via Faux Nooz.

WASHINGTON — Rep. William Jefferson, D-La., was indicted Monday on 16 counts related to a long-running bribery investigation on counts including racketeering, obstruction of justice and conspiracy...

The 94-page indictment is more than an inch thick, and Jefferson could face a maximum prison term of more than 230 years.

Banks, they're for suckers, what with their interest bearing accounts and the easy access to cash with an ATM card. Me, I always keep my cash reserves in the Freezer right next to the toenail clippings. If Howard Hughes taught us anything its that the feds are going to clone us all one day and I'm not about to make it easy for them.

In grave times though, we have to fall back on the knowledge passed down from previous generations. Those who have paved the way before us. And so Mr. Jefferson, you'll need to build up your "street cred". "How to make a prison shank from toilet paper for dummies", it's easy reading with easy to follow diagrams. You could listen to 50 Cent (pronounced Fiddy-Cent yo), to pick up on the lingo. But most of all Mr. Jefferson, I'm imploring you'll need a mentor. I'd suggest you pick somebody with some notoriety. Like Tookie Williams. Sure he's taking a bit of a nap, but you should follow his lead, 'cause Tookie never "took it lying down", if you know what I mean.

So Mr. Jefferson, when you find yourself in one of those "sticky situations" don't be all uppity like Joe Francis was. Ask yourself, What Would Tookie Williams Do?

Really Mr. Jefferson, it's sound advice and don't be afraid to stick a shank in somebody's kidney on the first day of your visit to Club Fed. Otherwise, well, you'll find yourself singing this little ditty.