Conffederate
Confederate

December 11, 2008

manbearpig barada nikto

Keanu Reeves come back from wherever he's been since the Matrix and Speed movies to turn a classic 1951 warning about the perils of nuclear armageddon into a tribute to the climate change cult in tomorrow's release of The Day The Earth Stood Still.

The movie's plot on Wikipedia is less than inspiring:

The film opens in the future San Dimas, California, with Rufus (George Carlin) preparing to use a time machine disguised as a phone booth to travel back to 1988 to make sure that Bill S. Preston, Esq. (Alex Winter) and Theodore "Ted" Logan (Keanu Reeves) remain together as the band "Wyld Stallyns", as their music is the core of the future's Utopian society.

Wait a minute. That's the more realistic plot from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Here is the plot for Keanu's latest turkey:

A representative of an alien race that went through drastic evolution to survive its own climate change, Klaatu (Keanu Reeves) comes to Earth to assess whether humanity can prevent the environmental damage they have inflicted on their own planet. Klaatu himself already has a negative opinion of humans, and when barred from speaking to the United Nations, he decides they shall be exterminated so the planet with its rare ability to sustain complex life can survive. It is up to Dr. Helen Benson (Jennifer Connelly) and her stepson Jacob (Jaden Smith) to convince Klaatu humans are worth saving: but it may already be too late.

Oh, it's too late all right—650 scientists from around the world have slammed the climate change cult, saying that there is no scientific evidence of manmade global warning.

Real science shows that the world gets warmer, and then it gets cooler. Then it gets warmer again, and then—wait for it—it gets cooler again. It's like a cycle or something. And it's been this way for hundreds of millions of years, well before bipeds with opposable thumbs moved to the coast, took up yoga, and decided to declare the world was about to end.

If you'd like to know the real cause of global warming and cooling, stick your head outside sometime during daylight hours and search the sky. See that big, flaming ball of hydrogen? That's the sun, or if you're feeling familiar, Sol.

Sol has weather, too.

Sometimes Sol burns hotter and sends out solar flares. During these periods, it pumps out tremendous, near incomprehensible amounts of energy, and the world warms up. Other times, Sol burns a bit cooler, solar flares die down, and the amount of energy it releases into space dies down a bit, and the world cools down. This we know. This is fact.

Climate change? It happens. In fact, one thing we know for absolute, irrefutable certainty is that climate change is constant, and it is going to happen no matter what we do.

By all means, do your best to practice conservation and protect the environment. But don't be so arrogantly clueless to think you are significant enough to change our climate as the suggest in this inconvenient spoof.

The best you can do is make sure when it gets cooler or warmer that it does so over lands and seas that aren't choked with our garbage and waste.

That's a big enough challenge of it's own, I think, even if it doesn't make as good a movie.

Posted by Confederate Yankee at December 11, 2008 10:03 AM
Comments

Damn! I was really looking forward to seeing this movie.

Posted by: Deuce Geary at December 11, 2008 11:13 AM

Man contributes to climate change to the same degree that all little boys pee-ing off docks raise sea levels.

Posted by: Bill Smith at December 11, 2008 11:19 AM

I'm wondering if Keanu's character will have two others who show up: Verata and Nicto?

I've also addressed this one CY. If you don't mind: Global Warming

Posted by: PhyCon (formerly Mark) at December 11, 2008 12:17 PM

It is impossible to improve on the original.

Posted by: 1sttofight at December 11, 2008 12:50 PM

Further proof that Hollywood is bankrupt in more ways than one.

Posted by: Conservative CBU at December 11, 2008 02:07 PM

Hey! Don't confuse the warmer's narrative with facts.

No doubt the agenda driven administrators and educators who populate gub'mint schools will deem this latest hollyweird screed a 'documentary' on climate change, and add it to their embarrassing library of 'classroom material' from Michael Moore & Al Gore.

In a day & age when many think 'The Daily Show and Cobert Report' are news sources, Reeves is simply another useful idiot in Goracle's Church of Deception.

And our children suffer for it.

God save the Republic.

Posted by: locomotivebreath1901 at December 11, 2008 03:54 PM

That there is global warming and that it is caused by man has become accepted science in major journals such as Nature (the worst offender). Papers disputing this premise have little chance of being published, as far as I can tell. In fact "science" is being promoted into power and profit for the believers. Nature recently suggested that climate modeling using massive new computers become recieved wisdom by world leaders, who in turn should make all there decisions based on these simulations, ie the scientist "believers" should rule the earth. No humility, no doubts there. Much like our next leader.

Posted by: mytralman at December 11, 2008 04:22 PM

OMFG You have got to be kidding me!!! I grew up with "The Day the Earth Stood Still" as my absoulute sci-fi movie... My Dad talked about his times as a kid when he went to see it, many times... he will be SHATTERED to know that they took a classic like this and manipulated it into a bull$$hytte pro global warming expose.

Let me tell you, I'm in Baghdad, and it's cold... really cold... even the locals have said they've never seen this level of frigidness... last time I saw it this cold, it was from a prom queen giving me the blow off... Go figure...

If BOB has decided (Big Orange Ball) to chill, then in long term, my reaction is that all those who claim we are warming get what they desreve for being wrong, that being get to be hung by their own intestines.

Posted by: Big Country at December 11, 2008 05:37 PM

dayum - I was hoping it would be worth seeing, and now I know. :-(

Posted by: BD57 at December 11, 2008 09:01 PM

The big problem is in the way scientific grants are approved... if a scientist can show a "crisis" then the politicians are much more likely to shovel more money his way in order to find a "solution." Therefore, there's a built-in pro-crisis bias in science.

Unless and until that changes, you're gonna have Chicken Little faux-crises. Get used to it, and keep your skepticism handy.

Posted by: ConservativeWanderer (formerly C-C-G) at December 11, 2008 09:26 PM
650 scientists from around the world have slammed the climate change cult, saying that there is no scientific evidence of manmade global warning.

Wow. That's almost all of them, isn't it?

Posted by: Mike's Dumbmerica at December 11, 2008 10:55 PM
A representative of an alien race that went through drastic evolution to survive its own climate change, Klaatu (Keanu Reeves) comes to Earth to assess whether humanity can prevent the environmental damage they have inflicted on their own planet. Klaatu himself already has a negative opinion of humans, and when barred from speaking to the United Nations, he decides they shall be exterminated so the planet with its rare ability to sustain complex life can survive.

Sounds more like a clever excuse for xenocide.

Posted by: Patrick Chester at December 12, 2008 02:05 AM

OK, even if Al (I won a Nobel because the committee handing them out are even stupider than I am) Gore is right about global warming how is it a danger to the planet? Sure, if he's right some species might go bye-bye, but where is the danger to the planet? Is it going to explode if the temperature gets too high?

I remember a movie where a plane supposedly couldn't come down and land because the nose was pointed up too much. The hero of the movie spent most of his time trying to get the nose pointed down so the plane could descend. Uh, anyone ever watch a real plane land? Evidently no one connected to that movie ever did. Stupidest movie I ever saw. This sounds worse.

Posted by: NevadaDailySteve at December 12, 2008 03:48 PM
650 scientists from around the world have slammed the climate change cult, saying that there is no scientific evidence of manmade global warning.

Wow. That's almost all of them, isn't it?

Well yes ... then there's this little girl.

Posted by: Dan Irving at December 12, 2008 04:50 PM