January 26, 2010

New Jersey Evacuates Due to Possible Terrorist Threat

A man acting suspiciously in a Branchburg, NJ Quick Chek convenience store led to the entire state state of New Jersey fleeing overnight after authorities arrested the man on weapons charges and revealed that he was wearing a bullet-proof vest and had in his possession a "grenade launcher," a ".223-caliber assault rifle that had been altered to fire .50-caliber ammunition," with "four loaded magazines with hollow-point ammunition" and a ".308-caliber semi-automatic assault rifle with a defaced serial number."

Police also recovered maps (including one of a military installation), a police scanner, and "Middle Eastern red and white traditional headdress."

The suspect, Lloyd Woodson, 43, was also suspiciously black.

Further reporting by the always excellent staff of ABC News revealed that the grenade launcher weapon of mass destruction was a "37 mm Cobray grenade launcher." The nefarious weapon is described by the company as a "flare launcher" in a blatant attempt to steer the less-informed away from the blatant fact that it looks a lot like 40 mm grenade launchers used in the world's militaries. No 37 mm grenades were recovered and none have apparently ever been manufactured, but authorities have left open the possibility that someone, someday, could make such munitions.

The .50-caliber "customized assault rifle, whose ammunition is typically used in heavy weapons mounted on military vehicles" found on Woodson proves that the suspect is a well-financed terrorist. The heavy weapons mounted on military vehicles chamber the .50 BMG cartridge, the largest bullet in the U.S. military arsenal not considered a cannon or artillery.

For Woodson to conceal the $5,000 weapon—which is in excess of three-feet long and weighs 33 pounds loaded—under a jacket also suggests that Woodson may only appear to be black, and is in fact a far larger species, possibly a Yeti.

The media, always striving for accuracy, immediately discounted the possibility that the Yeti was not armed with a highly-customized rifle-cannon, and insists he was not using an off the shelf drop-in upper assembly of far shorter size and range.

The Joint Terrorism has been called in to investigate the possibility that Woodson is actually a tea-bagging conservative white person, helpfully noting that most Yetis are believed to be white.

Posted by Confederate Yankee at January 26, 2010 10:01 AM

"Suspiciously black?"

Posted by: baldilocks at January 26, 2010 10:14 AM

I've seen people frisked for that, or less, but in this context I was being sarcastic.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at January 26, 2010 10:29 AM

ABC was waaaaaay off the mark with that garbage. 2 weapons is a "Massive Weapons Cache". 3 weapons, if they count a flare gun as a grenade launcher.

So, I know they're crazy and dead wrong about that.

But I do have a legit question, CY. Is it even possible to convert an AR-15 style weapon to chamber the huge 50 BMG round? It seems absurd. Were not talking 50 pistol round, or some other weird round. We're talking about an actual 50 cal round that the M2 fires, and what they're talking about in the article.

I know it seems a litte silly to ask, but I just want to check my bases before I do another touchdown dance on those liars.

Posted by: brando at January 26, 2010 10:51 AM

Won't have even been noticed here in Lousiana.

Posted by: David at January 26, 2010 11:13 AM

It is not possible to use the magazine well or semi-auto action of the AR without radically redesigning the entire platform, but there are uppers (single-shot) that use the AR-15 lower.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at January 26, 2010 11:19 AM

It would have been a .50 Beowulf conversion. Used for "Door Knocking" by some spec ops. It is an elongated .50 AE with a machined down rebated rim that fits the bolt and sort of considered a carbine round as it uses powder for a longer barrel(14" iirc). isn't a long range round, and is certainly not in the league with a .50 BMG. More on the order of a weak .500 S&W mag. So there is a pistol round more powerful than what he had. . . but never let the facts get in the way of the narrative.

Flare launchers do a good job for starting fires, but a surplus H&K flare pistol or a marine one from any boat store will do the same, but they don't look scary. and are "only" 25mm or 12 gauge.

Posted by: JP at January 26, 2010 11:33 AM

It is definitely getting around. It used to be that left stream media (aka MSM) could say whatever it wished and people just thought, wow, that IS news. Now even their own on-air talking heads snark after reading some of this. Well, they are winding down to nothing. At least they are good for a laugh.

I was in a public place recently, with a tv set to CNN or some awful communist misinformation system "reporting", trying to ignore it until I could leave. I heard a kid, maybe 8 or 9, snark on the report. Oh, the Lord knows, I had to bite my tongue to not burst out laughing. Yeah, the kid was right too.

Posted by: Doom at January 26, 2010 11:48 AM

Hey CY,

Next time, please post a warning at the top of any post with a joke involving a Yeti.

Currently wiping Diet coke off my monitor.

Tarheel Repub Out!

Posted by: Tarheel Repub at January 26, 2010 12:47 PM

We (Zel Custom Mfg) build some .50 BMG conversion kits for ARs. We're among about ten companies that build those. Or should I say, build them until they get banned due to somebody doing something like this.

Posted by: Michael B. at January 26, 2010 03:22 PM

Just to throw in my 2 cents. As JP stated.. a .50 Beowolf (a 'new' former 'wildcat' round) is out there these days for the AR-Styled build. Haven't gotten to play with one yet, but reviews are that it's a fun round... on the search on gunbroker dot com it shows that price is running about $1400 a throw for an Alexander Arms make, and $2 a round makes it on the really pricey side. Not exactly what I'd call a "Terrorist Gun of Choice." Limited availability/scarcity of ammo plus high price? Add on the mags only hold 11 rounds and the biggest available is a 26 round drum and rare from what I see (pricey too!), so not exactly what I'd be planning to use in a shootout. Especially since he had only 4 mags, so that'd be only 44 rounds, (or maybe 45 if he had one 'up the snout') but either way, you ain't starting no war with only 44 rounds of ammo.

Now, if in fact he was sporting a .50 BMG, like you said, well hell, I've humped and fired a M82A1 Barrett and man, I'm telling you, no way in hell was he slinging that under a coat and dancing around a 7-11. I'm 6'4 and 370 and even when I was in GREAT shape back at Ft Campbell, my most feared day was "Roadmarch with Weapons" as shlepping that 4 foot long 30 pound beast was enough to make me load up on the Bengay for afterwards.

The Cobray Flare Launcher? Please... Like you said, looks good, but ain't worth diddlysquat unless he loaded his own, at which point it'd be more dangerous to him than to anyone else.

My curiosity is that he's stated to be 'former Navy.' What did he do jobwise? Not many Squids with the exception of SEALs and some of the Navy ground forces here in Iraq ever regularly use weapons except in the Annual Qualification.

But, as simple as these facts are to gather, that'd actually be cosidered "work" by the press, and well, we can't be having anything that'd remotely be construed as an "Honest Days Work" from them, as it's a mutually exclusive combo.

Posted by: Big Country at January 26, 2010 04:41 PM

Based upon the snark of this post, I'm assuming that CY doesn't consider there to be any chance of terrorism involved, right?

Posted by: Kevin at January 26, 2010 10:36 PM

Thanks for showing me the 50BMG conversion. I didn't even think that was possible. That must be what he had.

About the "Grenade" stuff. Maybe the MSM is simply using a very layman's use of the word "grenade", meaning anything that it's just some sort object that gets lobbed. I've seen them use that sort of slippery, weasely trash before. It's suits them better than an unconditional surrender.

Just like they claimed that WP is a "chemical" weapon, because technically it has a "chemical", and by deafult it's NBC.

Posted by: brando at January 27, 2010 11:15 AM

Some well thought out responses on weapons, but, I think the point of the “story” was, it hasn’t hit the MSM’s. Correct me if I am wrong, but there have been many terrorist attacks in the USA (in my opinion) on civilians from a lone Muslim.

NC Chapel Hill Campus. May 2006. Link Here:

LA California: Link Here:

Portland, OR, July 26 2006: Link:

Guy caught in a Colorado mall, wanting to plant grenades against kids and shoppers.

Another Muslim with the Sears Tower in his sites, another in Texas (blow a building up).

Fort Brag North Carolina…The trio that was plotting to kill soldiers.

The Nicker Bomber, DO I have to go on?

BTY: The Fort Hood Shooter had a FN-FiveSeven, if, you don’t know, it’s a short .223 round. “This is not the ideal weapon to storm an ARMY BASE WITH!!!”

Again, you have to go to the local news sites to see what is really happening.

The MSN’s have failed us. Point blank…
Be aware and vigilant America…

Posted by: DGJ at January 27, 2010 08:43 PM

Sorry for this 2nd BTY... The Yeti or Abominable Snowman.
Wiki...but we already knew that.
Born in Michigan

Posted by: DGJ at January 27, 2010 09:03 PM

This was a typical retarded media writeup. It's good to keep an eye on someone suspicious, but his armament sounded like a lot of law-abiding citizens. I mean when the smallest box of .22 ammo is 50 rounds, then having "hundreds of rounds", "hollow-points" even, is just the bare minimum for anyone practicing the Second Amendment rights. "Assault rifle"? They mean semi-auto (oh my God, it's painted black!) which is perfectly legal to all law-abiding citizens.

Posted by: Jim at January 28, 2010 11:40 AM

You know, from the perspective of someone who routinely shops in that store, and is aware that less than two years ago, in the same area, we went through a massive FBI manhunt after an automatic weapons firing spree during an aborted bank holdup...

I'm glad there was an over-reaction.

The bank holdup gunfight included a dead FBI agent (felled by friendly fire), a lockdown of the college across the street from the store, and a lot of frightened populace. About 50 victims of 9/11 lived in the surrounding area, so perhaps we're a bit prejudiced...

You guys knew all this background, right?

Paper tigers.

Posted by: wpw at January 28, 2010 12:56 PM

Cool it Mao Zedong.

Posted by: brando at January 28, 2010 02:24 PM

"a dead FBI agent (felled by friendly fire),"

Simply amazing aint it? :)

Posted by: TC at January 29, 2010 08:13 PM