June 16, 2010

Greatest Headline/Opening Line Combo in News History

Via Caleb Howe on Twitter:

Puppy thrown at German biker gang

A German student "mooned" a group of Hell's Angels and hurled a puppy at them before escaping on a stolen bulldozer, police have said.

I know it will surprise you to find out that this chap was off his meds.

Posted by Confederate Yankee at June 16, 2010 12:23 PM

He may have been "off his meds", but how does one escape from a motorcycle gang on a bulldozer ???

Posted by: Clayton In Mississippi at June 16, 2010 01:44 PM

Good question, Clayton In Mississippi. Remember A Fish Called Wanda? Michael Palin rode a concrete tamping machine toward Kevin Kline at the end of the movie, shouting "Revenge, revenge." And Kevin Kline, with his feet fixed in the concrete, couldn't do anything but shout 'no, no.'

Maybe something like that. whatever works.

Marianne Matthews

Posted by: Marianne Matthews at June 16, 2010 03:05 PM

Ooooh, maybe he used the "chain the bikes to a fire hydrant" trick!!!!

Posted by: mockmook at June 16, 2010 04:07 PM

These were German Hell's Angles. I wonder how they rate on the bad scale.

Posted by: David at June 16, 2010 08:12 PM

". . . how does one escape from a motorcycle gang on a bulldozer ???"

Presumably the same way the 2000-pound canary escapes from the 14-pound cat. "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. . ."

In my mispent youth I spent six week at the US Army's camp for boys in Fort Knox Kentucky as an ROTC cadet. Somewhere close to the end of that time we got an afternoon pass one weekend. A friend and I were driving to the gate, when he looks in his rear-view mirror, pulls the car over to the shoulder and shout's "look out!"

Next thing I know an M-60 goes thundering by at easily 45 mph. That disappeared over a hill. Next, an MP jeep, siren blaring appeared, apparently in pursuit. It disappeared over the hill.

I turned to my buddy, and said "What's he going to do if he catches it?" He said "Dunno" and began edging back on to the road. Then we hear the siren approaching again, and he pulled off again. A minute later the jeep appears -- followed by the tank, which is going flat-out in pursuit of the jeep. Both disappeared the other direction, and my friend said, "I guess that answers your question."

I imagine chasing a nut on a bulldozer while you were on a motorcycle would end pretty much the same way.

(Later, in one of the local papers we learned that the tank had been driven by an enlisted man. He apparently had "substance abuse" problems. His girlfriend had broken up with him, and the man had been denied leave, so he "borrowed" the tank for transportation to her place for a discussion. Eventually they blocked the tank and the guy gave up. Not today's army boys and girls.)

Posted by: Mark L at June 17, 2010 07:54 AM