The Hat Trick: How To Outreach America to Death

Bob Woodward has once again revealed—to whatever degree one is willing to credit Woodward for unerring accuracy and integrity—many disturbing actions and thoughts of an American president, but in this instance, it’s President Barack Obama. In excerpts from his soon to be released book, Obama’s Wars, published on Sept. 22 in the Washington Post and New York Times, Mr. Obama’s beliefs informing his performance as Commander in Chief are revealed much more clearly than Mr. Obama will likely find comfortable. In fact, he may well have written some of the most effective Republic campaign commercials for 2012.

Mr. Obama is well on his way to completing a Democratic hat trick of economic and foreign policy wreckage begun and carried out under the previous Democratic presidencies of Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton. But perhaps it would be useful to provide a brief reminder of the previous Democratic shots on goal of American financial stability and national security before updating Mr. Obama’s skills on the ice as America's economy goes into sudden death overtime.

Under Jimmy Carter, America engaged in feckless international moralizing to the detriment of American security and prestige. Recall, if you will, Mr. Carter’s gob smacked amazement at the Russian invasion of Afghanistan and his subsequent public admission that he finally began to realize that maybe the Soviet Union really wasn’t interested in buying the world a Coke and teaching it to sing in perfect harmony. And who can forget those halcyon days of 20% interest rates, runaway inflation and endless lines at the gas pumps where a few gallons of gas may or may not have been available? And who was not moved to tears when Mr. Carter sacrificed by turning down the White House thermostat and wearing a Mr. Rogers cardigan sweater as he brilliantly summed up all of American’s problems while simultaneously solving them with the penetrating insight that America was suffering from “malaise,” or was it mayonnaise? I forget; I’m still recovering from being penetrated by the insight.

But Mr. Carter’s greatest achievement was, without question, reawakening the global jihad, while simultaneously failing to recognize or do anything about it, by whacking our long time ally, the Shah of Iran, with the moral superiority stick, thus allowing the Islamic Revolution in Iran that resulted in the Iranian Hostage Crisis. Expert opinion is still out on whether that event, or the creation of ABC’s Nightline hosted by Ted Koppel was the more damaging calamity. But what is known is that after more than a year of outreach, understanding and moralizing, the Iranians released the hostages on the very day that Ronald Reagan was inaugurated, and to the Iranians, seemed likely to continue Mr. Carter’s outreach by turning Iran into a glowing, steaming sheet of radioactive glass. This, finally, was outreach the Islamists could appreciate.

Thereafter, Americans learning that Mr. Carter made history as the only American President who served as a naval officer ever to be attacked while in his rowboat by a swimming rabbit, who may or may not have been a jihadist, were commonly heard to swear under their respective breaths and mutter, “sounds about right.” The Islamists, rabbits or not, did not forget, and having declared war on infidels and the Great Satan (that’s us, folks), set to work, never losing sight of their ultimate, long term goal of world domination.

After the horror of the Reagan and Bush years of American prestige, prosperity and genuine, as opposed to sloganeering, progress America was rescued, just in time to enjoy the benefits of the collapse of the Soviet Union, by the election of Bubbas Maximus, President Bill Clinton. Who can forget his many accomplishments, some made while actually wearing pants and/or with a zipped fly? Recall his televised address where he, with the most genuine faked sincerity, and the most emphatic finger wagging, delivered by an American President to that point in history, declared that he did not have sexual relations, with that woman…Miss Lewinsky? Of course, that depended on what the definitions of did, not, have, sexual, relations, with, that, woman, ellipsis, Miss and Lewinsky were. Linguists are still wrestling with the implications after all these years.

Mr. Clinton empowered our military and intelligence agencies by reinventing government. Of course, that reinvention consisted mainly of stealing their funds and mothballing assets, but hey, you have to break a few eggs to know what the meaning of “is” is. He really helped the CIA by, in an act of moral clarity not seen since Jimmy Carter took the moral superiority stick to the Shah, prohibiting CIA agents from dealing with anyone with a criminal record. Apparently Mr. Clinton had been informed by Democratic operatives that intelligence information could be best gathered by employing as intelligence assets nuns who are, after all, know for their close associations with terrorists and spies. Remember the inspired mirth of Mr. Clinton’s refusal to ever hold a one on one meeting with the Director of the CIA he appointed? And who didn’t double over with laughter when an attention seeking dullard--no, no, not Al Gore—crashed a small plane on the White House lawn spawning the joke that its pilot was the CIA Director trying to get a meeting with Mr. Clinton!

Mr. Clinton’s faux fondness for the military and his unswerving lack of attention to his duty as Commander in Chief was best chronicled by Lt. Colonel Buzz Patterson (USAF Ret.) who carried the nuclear football for Mr. Clinton in his books "Dereliction of Duty" and "Reckless Disregard," which titles do not refer to Mr. Clinton’s failure to pursue sexual adventures in or out of the White House, or under his desk, for that matter.

Who does not look back in fondness on Mr. Clinton’s establishing the precedent of treating Islamic terrorism, including the first World Trade Center bombing, as a criminal matter? Who cannot fail to chuckle at the loveable rogue’s serial refusals to take Osama Bin Ladin into custody when Bin Ladin was offered to him on a silver platter by foreign governments? Impeachment, perjury, sexual harassment and rape allegations were only a few of Mr. Clinton’s many, notable domestic accomplishments. And who can forget that immortal headline in "The Onion": “President Clinton to Feel Nation’s Pain, Breasts”?

Thereafter, Americans learning that Mr. Clinton and Mrs. Clinton, upon leaving the White House, looted many of the furnishings (that is, the few remaining furnishings that weren't reduced to rubble by one of Mrs. Clinton’s many obscenity laced, paint peeling, chuck-everything-that-isn’t-nailed-down-at-the-President domestic outreach sessions), were commonly heard to swear under their respective breaths and mutter, “sounds about right.” The Islamists remained determined to dominate the world, responding to eight more years of Democratic outreach with their traditional, cheery greeting and salutation of: “Death to America!”

So great was the domestic and foreign policy success of Jimmy Carter (who has never ceased to miss an opportunity to remind Americans of just how magnificent he was and is while simultaneously actively working against American interests and the interests of our allies) and so darned loveable and roguish was the loveable roguishness of Bill Clinton that America had little choice but to elect another Democrat, in this case, the single most leftist Democratic Senator the republic had ever survived, on the platform of “hope” and “change” and raising the seas and healing Al Gore, or something.

Mr. Obama’s dedication to relentlessly clinging to every catastrophically destructive Democrat domestic and foreign policy ever imagined in the most fevered socialist brain seemed positively pedestrian in comparison to Mr. Woodward’s initial recitation of Mr. Obama’s priorities. Oh sure, we know that he considers NASA’s most important mission to be helping Muslims feel good about their scientific accomplishments, you know, like, centuries ago? Of course, we pretty much have to scrap the space program to provide the funds for this vital endeavor, but that's hope and change for you! We also know that when Iran responds to his outstretched hands with their traditional, heart warming “death to America!” Mr. Obama is only more determined to destroy America’s economy and to figure out how more effectively to avoid calling Islamic Terrorists Islamic Terrorists.

But who, pray tell, would even think, let alone say, "We can absorb a terrorist attack. We'll do everything we can to prevent it, but even a 9/11, even the biggest attack ever . . . we absorbed it and we are stronger,"? By that sort of logic, why should we bother to try to prevent the next attack, or even the next several? After all, would those attacks not make us stronger still? That a President of the United States actually believes this, and actually thought nothing of saying it to a reporter, should shake every American who actually believes in America, democracy and the survival of America and western civilization to their bones. Better still, it should motivate them, at every election up to and including 2012, to finally, once and for all, understand that Democrats cannot be trusted with the economy or national security (to name only two), and to vote for any Republican candidate, even a ham sandwich providing it's a Republican, or at least, not a Democrat.

One wonders what the survivors of the victims of 9-11 think of absorbing another 9-11? One wonders what the victims of those future attacks might think, or Americans who might very well become those victims, which would be potentially all of us. One wonders if Americans who learn that some 800 Americans were killed around the world by Islamists after the Iranian Hostage Crisis and before 9-11 would be surprised, so greatly have our Democrat Presidents lowered our expectations of presidential leadership and morality, particularly that of Democrats. One wonders what more we’ll learn about Mr. Obama’s actions and core beliefs, including his despicably political approach to war and our military already hinted at in the excerpts from Woodward’s book when it is released and read in its entirety? I suspect that Americans will be commonly heard to swear under their respective breaths and mutter, “sounds about right.” A hat trick indeed.