Quick Takes, February 3, 2011

ITEM: In the “I had no idea this was coming (snicker, snicker)” department, the White House has announced to Newsweek that President Obama will soon speechify for greater gun control. According to Obama advisor, David Plouffe, speaking to NBC News after the SOTU, Mr. Obama will push Congress to pass changes in the law that would prevent an Arizona-like attack. Three guesses: Another federal “assault weapon” ban, but this time it will include any firearm gun banners remotely consider scary looking, which is essentially all of them; a magazine capacity limitation of ten rounds--again; and federalizing mental health statutes in such a way that conservatives could be involuntarily committed for little more than possessing a firearm or using “threatening language.” You really didn’t think Mr. Obama would let his first term pass without trying to impose new gun control laws, did you?

ITEM: Department of Homeland Tzarina Janet Napolitano recently announced the obliteration of the “virtual fence” on our southern border, ostensibly because it didn’t work, and promised to, to, to... well OK, she really didn’t promise to replace it with anything, which is the kind of can-do, forward-looking, fondle-your-genitals-in-airports action we have come to expect from her. But now comes Janice Kephart of the Center for Immigration Studies who tells us that after the kind of problems that most prototype systems have, the ‘virtual fence” actually worked quite well. Well no wonder we have to do away with it! It might actually stop illegal immigration and intercept Jihadists.

ITEM: In a recent White House staged interview, Mr. Obama said that he wants a “debate” (hint, hint, wink, wink, nudge, nudge) on legalizing drugs, though he was careful to say that he opposed legalizing drugs (hint, hint, wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So let’s see: Obviously Mr. Obama thinks we need a debate on this issue because we haven’t had any discussion of it in simply years, sort of like how AG Holder thinks we’re cowards who haven’t had a thing to say about race for simply ages. And even though he has actually told people who disagree with him to shut up--repeatedly--and to come along for the ride--as long as they ride in the back (no racial connotations there!)--and even though at the SOTU he told perhaps the dumbest drug joke ever imagined by the most dope-addled pothead about smoking--get it, smoking? Hee-hee-hee! I need some munchies...-- migratory fish, and even though he is against legalizing drugs (has the statute of limitations on his admitted drug use run out?), now he thinks we ought to debate the issue. Uh, sure. I get it, sort of...maybe...How about we just fire up some salmon and forget the whole thing?

ITEM: Who said the Federal Government was inefficient! When it comes to handing out favors to political cronies, the Obamites are world beaters. In November, that Obamites approved 222 ObamaCare waivers, but by the end of December, that number rose to 729 and continues to “skyrocket!” We’re number one! We’re number one! Among the early recipients? SEIU affiliated unions! Just another example of the kind of efficiently corrupt perfection available every day with our Federal Government.

ITEM: TSA Administrator John Pistole has canceled the program that allowed airports to replace Union TSA screeners with private security. Private companies currently operate successfully at 16 airports. Pistole said he won’t expand the program “...as I do not see any clear or substantial advantage to do so at this time.” Well of course not! Replacing less efficient and more expensive government employees with their more efficient, less expensive private sector counterparts is never an advantage--for federal bureaucrats.

ITEM: In the “Oh Goodie!” Department, Pakistan has doubled the size of its nuclear arsenal and now has more then 100, apparently deliverable, nuclear weapons. This is, of course, the same Paaaahk-eee-staaaahn (in Obama speak) that is a majority Muslim nation on the verge of being taken over by Jihadists, but not to worry! Islam is the religion of peace (George W. Bush) and Muslims are part of the American family (Barack Obama)! What could go wrong?

ITEM: Also in the “Oh Goodie!” Department comes news from the Obama EPA, dropped on an unsuspecting public in a Friday news dump. According to the superior intellects of the EPA, gasoline containing a 15% mixture of ethanol is now “deemed” safe for cars manufactured since 2001. To this point, 10% has been the maximum ethanol blend. The auto industry has been trying to avoid this hotter blend over safety concerns. Ethanol burns much hotter than gasoline (it wears out expensive catalytic converters much more quickly) and with substantially less energy content. It is also corrosive to engines and delivery systems. Testing has been delayed because the new mixture melts seals in pumps and storage tanks(?!). Add the costs of installing new tanks, pumps and reengineering the entire delivery system to prevent putting the fuel in the wrong vehicles, and one might be tempted to think this was part of a continuing Obamite plan to make the cost of fuel “skyrocket” to force people to drive less and to destroy the economy. But our President and the Dems wouldn’t even think of doing that---would they? Nah...

ITEM: According to New York Magazine, Mr. Obama has never actually met, one-on-one with about six of the members of his Cabinet. Well of course not! What with all those Czars and Cabinet members and advisors and underczars, and lobbyists he was never going to hire, and vacations, and golfing, and insulting our allies and sucking up to our enemies...well, a man’s got to have his priorities. After all, when you’re the smartest man in the known universe, you don’t need to meet with such inferior intellects. But this raises the question of who is actually giving him advice? Perhaps his senior advisor, Valerie Jarrett? What could go wrong?

ITEM: The Obama Administration Loves Our Troops. Episode #203: The General. Senior Obama advisor Valerie Jarrett, known as much for her Chicago slum lord past as for her obsequious, drooling praise of Mr. Obama’s matchless intellect (he’s a legend in his--and her--own mind), recently demonstrated her appreciation for our troops. Via Allahpundit and Hot Air:

”According to our tipster, Jarrett was seated at the head table along with several other big-name politicians and a handful of high-ranking military officials. As an officer sporting several stars walked past Jarrett, she signaled for his attention and said, “I’d like another glass of wine."

White House economic adviser Austan Goolsbee, who was seated next to Jarret, began “cracking up nervously,” our tipster said, but no one pointed out to Jarrett that the man sporting a chestful of medals was not her waiter.

“The guy dutifully went up and got her a glass of wine, and then came back and gave it to her and took a seat at the table,” our tipster said. “Everyone is in tuxedos and gowns at this thing, but the military people are in full dress uniform.”

Our military really do know that they’re public servants. The Obama Administration, not so much. At least she didn’t bother a corpse-man. And if you don't visit today's Day By Day strip (here), you're missing the best laugh you've had in awhile.

ITEM: Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. The New York Time’s executive editor Bill Keller, recently interviewed by Marvin Kalb, had this to say about Fox News: “I think the effect of Fox News on American public life has been to create a level of cynicism about the news in general. It has contributed to the sense that they are all just out there with a political agenda, but Fox is just more overt about it. And I think that’s unhealthy.” Oh well. Newsweek sold for $1.00. I’ll bet the NYT brings at least $2.00. It really is all about location.

ITEM: But Global Warming is Real! Really! The British press continues to provide most of the revealing information on the rapidly disintegrating (melting?) Man-Caused Global Warming hysteria. The British Met Office’s recent press release claiming that 2010 was the hottest year in the last decade has blown up in its face. Doctors Benny Peiser and David Whitehouse of the Global Warming Policy Foundation reviewed the data from the University of East Anglia’s Climate Research Unit (yes, the very same poster children for scientific mendacity and corruption) which revealed that 2010 was actually cooler than 2005 and 1998 and no warmer than 2003. In response the Met Office replied: “Sputter, sputter, choke! I’m melting! I’m melting!” OK, so I made that last part up. Complain to Al Gore.

ITEM: And speaking of the Goracle...Mr. Gore, inventor of the internet and savior of the planet by means of selling carbon credits by which he has purchased a home that uses more electricity in a single month than some third world countries (OK, so I’m exaggerating a bit, but not by much) and a 100 foot (ONE HUNDRED FOOT?!) houseboat (HOUSEBOAT?! The trailer must be truly epic. What do you pull that with? A D-9 Caterpillar?), sayeth: “As it turns out, the scientific community...say that increased heavy snowfalls are completely consistent with what they have been predicting as a consequence of man-mad global warming.” And Dr. David Viner of the University of East Anglia’s Climate Research Unit--those merry pranksters who have done so much to shoot global warming--and themselves--in the foot, recently predicted that within a few years, winter snows would be “a very rare and exciting event,” and “Children just aren’t going to know what snow is.” As England, and now America have been blanketed with record snows, one might be tempted to ask Mr. Gore and Dr. Viner “how’s that AGW workin’ out for you?” At last report, British children are still able to correctly identify snow with a single guess.

ITEM: And the winners of the Louis Renault Award for this edition of Quick Takes are: Anyone who is shocked, shocked! that a San Francisco Supervisor would behave like an America-loathing Marxist. I speak, of course, of newly elected Supervisor Jane Kim who refuses to recite the pledge of Allegiance. “I don’t think our flag represents a nation where there’s liberty and justice for all,” spake Kim, who announced her intention to let her actions--actually her inaction--speak louder than “those 31 words.” And this has happened in San Francisco, the home of Nancy Pelosi? Who’da thunk it?

ITEM: Good on ‘em! Five South Dakota legislators--it’s unknown if they were taking the advice of the brilliant and delicious Ann Coulter--have introduced a bill that would require all South Dakotans to buy a firearm upon reaching 21. The bill is, of course, tongue-in-cheek, and a commentary on the ObamaCare insurance mandate. Their point is apt: If the Federal Government can force you to buy insurance, there is no limit to its power to force you to buy other consumer goods, such as GM cars or GE products. Mr. Obama would never even think of doing something like that--would he?

ITEM: On January 31, President Obama announced his support for jihadist terror organizations--such as the Muslim Brotherhood--to have “a role” in a new Egyptian government. Oh dear. OK Mr. Obama, for the last time: Democracy and peace--GOOD. Murderous, medieval, Islamist sub-human, raping, bombing, head-removing thugs--BAD. BAD means not inviting them to the White House. Now write that on the board 100 times.

ITEM: I’m Not A Narcissist! From Mr. Obama’s repetitious, bland, mercifully brief, Kumbaya statement on Egypt: “My administration...,” “...I know that...,” “So I want...,” “I also call...,”  ‘I just spoke...,” “...I told him...,” “When I was in Cairo, shortly after I was elected President, I said...” It’s not all about Obama. Repeat as needed.

ITEM: And in the Indispensable Lessons In Civics Department, Senator Chuck Schumer (D-Chuck Schumer), this week enumerated the three branches of American government: The House, the Senate, and the presidency. As Dr. Evil would say, “riiiiight.” The three branches, are actually, of course: Barack Obama, the Democrat Party, and the SEIU.

ITEM: Oh yes! The Gurkhas serving in the British military have long held a reputation for courage and ferocity seldom equalled in the annals of warfare, and with good reason. Recently in Nepal, Bishnu Shrestha, a 35 year-old Gurkha soldier was riding on a train when it was attacked by forty bandits armed with knives, swords and guns. They had him outnumbered and surrounded--poor bastards. Shrestha watched and waited until the bandits began to rape an 18 year old girl, and then he demonstrated why the enemies of the Gurkhas have always feared their Kukris (long, curved combat knives). Drawing his Kukri, Shrestha killed three, injured eight and sent the rest (29!) fleeing for their lives despite sustaining a serious knife wound to his left hand. Goodness and honor live--just not in Washington DC. Shrestha is an example of humanity’s best.

And on that happy note, thanks for dropping by, and I’ll see you next Thursday!