Quick Takes, April 07, 2011

ITEM: It is a mark of the character of the American people that this kind of story will touch their hearts and bring a tear to their eyes. Go here, and see what I mean.

ITEM: A Trip Down Memory Lane. Why are we currently at a budget impasse? Is it those evil Republicans who want to kill children and old people with their “radical” spending cuts? Not quite. Rewind to October, 2010 when the budget for this fiscal year was due. Ah, those heady days of absolute Democrat control of the White House and both houses of Congress, yet they refused to pass a budget for this fiscal year. Why? Because they were sufficiently aware of their debilitating spending addiction to know that any budget they passed would elect even more Republicans in November. Thus they set the stage for continuing resolution after continuing resolution and the government shutdown (tell me again why that’s a bad thing?) looming at midnight Friday. Keep this in mind the next time a Democrat tells you that they are protecting the public against the evils of rational spending and avoiding a global economic shutdown.

ITEM: Is This Cool Or What? Department: ABC News (here) reports on the XM-25, a weapon currently being field tested in Afghanistan. The weapon—troops call it “The Punisher”—is a programmable, semi-automatic 25mm grenade launcher. Equipped with a combination day/night/laser ranging sight, soldiers can set the smart round it fires to explode at a predetermined distance. Terrorists hiding behind a thick mortar wall? Lase the distance, set the round to explode at that distance + three feet, aim above the wall and fire. The round will travel directly to that point and explode directly above the terrorists. The weapon is still under development and all of the types of ammunition are not yet perfected and widely available, but the troops who have used it in combat reportedly do not want to give it up. It is this kind of American ingenuity some despise. The tragedy is that many of them are American politicians.

ITEM: Perhaps the best advertising strategy for the 2012 presidential election is to let Mr. Obama indict himself. Use his actions, his words, his stated intentions and their results to convince people that he must be a one-term president. It should be ridiculously easy as there has never been a president who has talked at the American people in such shallow depth, yet with such clock-like regularity and such tsunami-like volume. For a good look at what just might work, at least for people who have not had Obama implants secreted under their skin on the Obama mothership, go here.

ITEM: Tales Of The Religion Of Peace, Department: From Fox News (here) comes the story of Muslim riots in Afghanistan that in two days (April 1 and 2) have left 13 dead, including seven foreign UN employees. In addition more than 50 have been injured. Yes, once again, the most peaceful religion on Earth has murdered many innocents, including fellow Muslims. Why? Because Afghan president Hamid Karzai announced and condemned the actions of one, small Florida church in burning a copy of the Koran on March 20. And Mr. Obama thinks it’s possible to negotiate with such people because...? I guess that historic Muslim outreach speech in Cairo didn’t go as far as Afghanistan--or Egypt--or Syria--or Iran--or Libya, or, well, anywhere else in the Muslim world, but that’s hope and change for ya!

ITEM: In The Throw Away The Key! Department, from Fox News (here) we learn of two parents in Michigan who sicced their seven year old son on another boy. When a 73 year old crossing guard tried to stop the attack, the parents attacked him. They’ve been arrested and charged with assault and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Well, yeah...

ITEM: In the “He Did WHAT?! Department comes news (here) that Mr. Obama, in a stunning display of the kind of military acumen that has made him the Commander-In-Chief that he is, has withdrawn American attack planes, more or less, sort of so that NATO--which is actually, really us--can kind of take over. This military move, worthy of Sun Tzu’s much dumber brother Dim Duk, has occurred at the same time that Qaddafi’s forces have begun a serious push to eradicate the rebel forces, and have begun to run up a significant casualty toll. Senators on the Armed Services Committee characterized the move as “odd,” “troubling” and “unnerving,” and Senator John McCain told Defense Secretary Robert Gates “your timing is exquisite.” He was not delivering a compliment. Gates allowed that the situation was “unfortunate,” but said that our grounded aircraft could be recalled if things became so bad for the rebels that it was necessary. Senator Lindsay Graham said: "The idea that the AC-130s and the A-10s and American air power is grounded unless the place goes to hell is just so unnerving that I can't express it adequately.” And critics have called Mr. Obama’s Libya not-war policy “incoherent.” What were they thinking? It’s perfectly coherent in an utter lack of coherence sort of way.

ITEM: The Everything is Under Control! Department (here): "There is a perception that the border is worse now than it ever has been," DHS Secretary Napolitano said at the El Paso border crossing last week. "That is wrong. The border is better now than it ever has been." Unfortunately for Napolitano, and incidentally, the entire nation, Arizona’s Cochise County Sheriff Larry Dever has a differing opinion. “The senior supervisor agent is telling me about how their mission is now to scare people back. He said, ‘I had to go back to my guys and tell them not to catch anybody, that their job is to chase people away. … They were not to catch anyone, arrest anyone. Their job was to set up posture, to intimidate people, to get them to go back.”

Jeffery Self, commander of the U.S. Customs and Border Protection Joint Field Command in Arizona, said in a written statement. “The claim that Border Patrol supervisors have been instructed to underreport or manipulate our statistics is unequivocally false,” Hmm. Wait a minute. Mr. Self didn’t actually address what Sheriff Dever said, did he? I’m sure everything is completely under control. After all, Janet Napolitano said so!

ITEM: The Government Is Using Your Tax Dollars With the Greatest Care! Department: From Hot Air (here) comes news of the enormous sculpture of a fairy on the back of a toad which lights up and “gurgles sounds of nature.” The sculpture, to be placed at the Defense Department’s Mark Center in Alexandria, Virginia to open this fall, costs a mere $600,000, pocket change to the Federal Government. Army Corps of Engineers officials, responding to charges of waste and, well, idiocy, have noted that the decision to build the enormous toad and fairy, which is due on April 1 (talk about irony), can’t be put off because it would “impact completion” of the project. I don’t know what all the fuss is about. After all, it’s not even a million bucks, and I can’t think of anything more inspiring to people working to help defend America than the kind of patriotic symbolism embodied by a ten foot fairy riding an enormous toad. After all, wasn’t it just such a vision that inspired George Washington to cross the Potomac in a wooden shoe while chopping down a cherry tree and lying to his father? It wasn’t? Oh. This is an April Fool's joke, right? Even the Feds couldn't be this dopey? Right? Right?

ITEM: And in the “So Ironic It Hurts!” Department, comes this story from Hot Air (here) about Mr. Obama recently receiving an award for—wait for it…transparency! And the best part is that he locked all reporters out of the secret White House ceremony where the award was bestowed! You can’t make this stuff up, folks.

ITEM: So Now The Republicans Want to Kill Children, Eh? Rajiv, Shas, USAID Administrator told a House subcommittee:

“… the budget plan, which would cut $61 billion in federal spending, would lead to the deaths of 30,000 kids in a malaria control program that would have to be scaled back, 24,000 from a lack of immunizations and 16,000 from a lack of skilled attendants at birth.” "’There's a way to do this that does not have to cost lives and we're very focused and very much want to work with the committee to identify a path forward that can allow us to be effective at doing so,’ he said. Shah is seeking $59.5 billion in funding for his agency, up 22 percent, or $10.7 billion, from the current level.”

Well, when you put it that way… Perhaps the Dems can come up with how many children will be killed per dollar of budget cuts. Any bets? One? 2.37? 18.82? Go here for the entire sad story and contact your Republican legislator and tell them to kill as many children as possible.

NOTE TO THE IRONY CHALLENGED/MANDATORY POLITICAL CORRECTNESS DISCLAIMER: That last comment was satirical. I am not, in fact, in favor of killing children and I am not, in fact, actually telling you to tell legislators to kill children. However, I am fond of Jonathan Swift’s modest proposal about eating them.

ITEM: We’re so far underwater in national debt that we can’t see sunlight, so one wonders on which pressing, absolutely vital national priority does Mr. Obama want to spend even more money? Buying more land for parks and conservation. The federal government already owns about 1/3 of all American lands, and Mr. Obama (here) wants to double spending next year to $900 million dollars. Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski has pointed out that the Feds cannot afford to maintain the land they already own, and would have to sell, rather than buy, land to properly maintain it. Hmm. If I was broke and owned property I couldn’t afford to maintain, wouldn’t I sell that property? But then again, I’m not Barack Obama, am I?

Another thought: How does this square with Mr. Obama’s recent speech claiming to be all about expanding American energy production? Does he want more land to open it to exploration and energy production? Isn’t private land already open to exploration and energy production? Something doesn’t smell quite right, and I’m sure it doesn’t smell remotely like oil.

ITEM: Epic Fail Department: Remember all of Mr. Obama’s bold outreach initiatives? Remember the way he was going to utterly transform not only America, but make the world love us? Remember how having a black, sort-of-Muslim-when-it’s-convenient-and-don’t-you-dare-call-me-Muslim-even-though-my-middle-name-is-about-as-muslim-as-it-gets President would change the way every nation dealt with America? How’s all of that working out? Go here for John Hannah’s take. My take? Mr. Obama couldn’t have made a worse hash of the world if he tried, and I’m not entirely sure he didn’t--and isn’t.

ITEM: Read the article here to discover one of the greatest tragedies of modern times. Oh, the humanity! Yes, California state legislators, in a state that is about to, economically and perhaps not metaphorically speaking, slide into the Pacific Ocean, may actually—gasp!—lose—wailing and gnashing of teeth—their taxpayer paid luxury automobiles! I may eat some organic vegetables in protest of the obvious violation of universal human rights such cruel deprivation would constitute. And yes, CA is the only state that provides state-subsidized rides for state legislators. And it's bankrupt. And it just elected a man it fondly (?!) calls "Governor Moonbeam" again(?!). Perhaps there’s a lesson in there somewhere? Discuss.

ITEM: Louis Renault Award of the Week: From Fox News (here) comes the tragic tale of Attorney General Eric Holder, a man who works tirelessly for his people, making a petulant April 4 appearance to announce that some of the most vile terrorists of the century will not be allowed to have star-studded media-circus trials in the Big Apple. No, NYC will be denied the world-wide attention, astronomical expense, disruption and terrorist targeting that is—according to Mr. Holder and Mr. Obama--its natural right. And it’s all the more tragic, according to Mr. Holder, because he guarantees they’d be convicted, so let’s get on with the fair, impartial trials and show the world how fair our justice system really is. But that’s not what makes me shocked, shocked!, no. I know you won’t be able to believe it either. It’s the fault of Congress and those darned American people that Mr. Holder won’t get his way. Awwww. Once again, the people--the bastards--have spoken.

ITEM: Louis Renault Award of the Week #II: I am shocked, shocked! to learn that the Nevada chapter of ACORN has pleaded guilty to one count of violating election laws in Las Vegas, NV during the 2008 campaign. ACORN, which is now defunct (I really can’t get tired of writing that!), is almost certainly operating under other names. The mainstream media might figure that out sometime after the next presidential election--or not. Go to Fox News (here) for the rest of the story. Hope. Change. Nation-wide election fraud. Community Organizing.

ITEM: From Hot Air (here) comes the news that Former Speaker of the House (I absolutely never get tired of writing that!) Nancy Pelosi is now saying that some budget bill or something or other that Republicans may or may not be proposing will make six million seniors starve to death. Sigh. On the April 5th O’Reilly Factor, John Stossel reported that his staff called Pelosi’s office and they had no idea what bill Pelosi was talking about or where she was getting her figures. Imagine that. This woman was third in line for the presidency. Contact your Republican legislators immediately and ask that they make eating old people legal. Starting with Nancy Pelosi. For the required disclaimer, see the “ So Now The Republicans Want to Kill Children, Eh?” item above and substitute “old people” for “children.” Thanks.

ITEM: I’m All For Free Speech, But…: From Hot Air (here) comes the predictably erratic Senator Lindsay Graham who says: “I wish we could hold people accountable for their actions, but under free speech, you can’t.” He speaks, of course of the killing of UN workers and fellow Afghani Muslims by Afghan adherents of the religion of peace following the burning of a Koran by an obscure Florida minister. Graham, who is actually a military (reserve) lawyer(?!), thinks that the fact that he, and apparently General David Petraeus--according to Graham--would like to ban Koran burning overrides the First Amendment because without people like the general, there would be no First Amendment. Well, I’m a teacher, and without people like me, there would be no writ…

ITEM: Delicious Irony Department: From Rob over at PACNW Righty (here) we discover that in the very heart of leftist, Global Warming, tree-hugging territory, California, The Sierra Nevada Mountains have near-record snowfalls, with some 61 feet of snow. But of course, 61 feet of snow is obvious evidence of global warming. So is rain, hail, night, day, too-tight jeans, Victoria’s Secret, little yappy dogs, Koran burning and Nancy Pelosi. Discuss.

ITEM: Who Says There Are No Happy Endings? Department: If you’d like a smile on your face and a tear in your eye, go here. Oh yes, and be glad you’re an American, one of hundreds of millions of people who would care about something so simple, so common, yet so touching.

And on that touching note, thanks for stopping by, and I'll see you again next Thursday, same bat-time, same bat-channel!