Quick Takes, September 29, 2011

ITEM: Ah, The Ironic Humor Of It All! Go here to Legal Insurrection for a link review of the follies and berserkery of the last year in the People's Republic of Wisconsin.

ITEM: Oh Yeah, He's All About Job Creation: Go here for one of the most bizarre articles I've seen in a long time. It's tempting to think it an Onion satire. CEO Peter Schiff explains how he was fined and punished by the Federal Government for the vile crime of hiring too many employees. I'm not kidding. We're living in a Twilight Zone rerun, aren't we? C'mon, you can tell me! I'm pretty sure I saw Rod Serling…

ITEM: Well, I Thought It Was Kind Of Cute…for about the first 15 seconds. Then I agreed that this is indeed the worst car commercial of all time. Talk about a car only an Italian could love…sheesh. These folks own Chrysler, by the way. Admit it: It's a uniquely ugly car. Discuss.

ITEM: Gibson Update: If you're in the Nashville area, there is a rally and concert to support Gibson coming up on October 8. Gibson, as you'll recall, is the iconic guitar maker recently raided by the Feds who were apparently enforcing the laws of the nation of India. Let's hope they don't start enforcing the laws of Obama's home planet. Lord only knows what they'd be seizing then. Go here for information.

ITEM: The Newest Obama Stimulus Couldn't Be A Cynical Lie, Could It? Go here to see what Keith Hennessey thinks. Bet you can't guess what I think. Discuss. Extra credit for the most creative swearing (not in print, please, this is an "ears only" event).

ITEM: So That's Why They Do It! That's right! Women are promiscuous to prevent inbreeding! I've always been a bit surprised at the bad rap promiscuous men have received. After all, they have to be promiscuous with somebody, presumably, female somebodies. Oh well. Stop by the Mail Online to see naked feet, and to read the story,

ITEM: By 2014, All American Kids Will, By Federal Law, Be Above Average! That's the mandate of No Child Left Behind, the bizarre genetic anomaly resulting from the union of George W. Bush and Teddy "the Submariner" Kennedy. But now comes Mr. Obama offering relief from NCLB in exchange for—wait for it—overweening government control of every facet of education by Executive Branch mandate! Who could have believed such a thing possible! After all, Mr. Obama is a class warrior for the middle class. He just said so he himself, so it must be true. Then again, if my grandmother had wheels, she could be a wagon. Go here for the story.

ITEM: Oh Dear. Imagine an American President standing before the United Nations and telling them just what they are—a passel of cowardly liars. The nearest we've come in recent years was George W. Bush telling those unworthies that they needed to step up or become irrelevant. Go here to read the speech of a real statesman. A shame he can't be our president.

ITEM: Too Big To Fail? Guess which enormously wealthy and powerful organization is in big trouble these days? The United Auto Workers, part owners of General Motors and Chrysler. Can you imagine the federal government bailing out a union? Oh, that's what it did when it nationalized GM and Chrysler? Well, yeah, but let's not pick nits. I mean if the union itself goes bankrupt, can you imagine the Obama Administration using taxpayer dollars to rescue it? Yeah, so can I. Go here for the story.

ITEM: So, It's All About Fairness? According to Charles Krauthammer, that's what motivates Mr. Obama's economic policies, such as they are. Rest assured that Mr. Obama's idea of fairness is not your idea of fairness. An interesting article indeed.

ITEM: Louis Renault Award, I Can Pay Dead People Division. Yes gentle readers, our very own federal family—er, I mean the daddy part of the federal family, of course—is paying at least $120 million per year to federal retirees. Well, that doesn't sound so bad, you say. Only $120 million? In Obama terms, that's chicken feed! Normally, I'd agree with you, except the money is being paid to dead people. I'm shocked, shocked! Who could imagine the federal government being so incompetent?! Oh. You could? OK then. Anyway, go here, but take your blood pressure meds so you don't end up receiving federal payments after your demise. On the other hand, the dead always vote Democrat, so why shouldn't they get a bit of the boodle like all of the other pals of Mr. Obama and his merry thugs and thugettes?

ITEM: What?! Our Federal Officials and Scientists Lying? Never! Never! Well, OK. Pretty much always, then. Visit the Examiner for a great article about a federal judge taking such sanctimonious bureaucrats to task for lying and general poopy-facedness. You gotta love it. Maybe there still is some justice in the world after all.

ITEM: In A Rational World: Glug, Glug… Oh my. The Iranians are announcing their plans to send their naval vessels into American waters. Considering their plans to produce electromagnetic pulse weapons launched from ships—they have no missile platforms capable of otherwise reaching America—any rational president might ensure that these smarmy, uniformed jihadists sleep with the fishes. Of course, Mr. Obama will instead reach out the hand of understanding and smart diplomacy. Arrrr. Where are pirates when you really need them? Go here for the story, but take your blood pressure meds first.

ITEM: Oh Goodie! Department: Guess which country now has short range cruise missles? That's right, our good friends and perpetual negotiating partners, Iran! And of course, they're issuing the usual threats, lunatic claims, rancid rhetoric…sigh. Go here for the story.

ITEM: Australians Go Gonzo! Australia announced that it will soon allow women to serve in all front-line combat forces, including special forces. Interesting indeed. Any woman that can meet SAS standards will be OK by me. Discuss.

ITEM: Coming To An Airport Near You: Shoulder fired anti-aircraft missiles, courtesy of our friends the Russians via Libya. That's right gentle readers, some 20,00 missiles are apparently missing from Libyan warehouses, warehouses guarded by our "rebel" allies who now seem to be, well, you know, kind of…jihadists. Ooops. More smart diplomacy. Go here for the article, and reconsider those travel plans.

BACKGROUND: Under Bill Clinton, the human intelligence capabilities of the CIA were all but destroyed. It has never recovered, leaving us at a severe disadvantage around the world. Another accomplishment of your friends, the Democrats, making the world safe for anyone that hates America and Americans.

ITEM: Your Gangster Government At Work, #2897: When Barack Obama nationalized 2/3 of the car industry, I immediately rid myself of my Dodge truck and car and have been the happy, satisfied owner of a Ford Fiesta and Escape since. I wondered how long it would take for the thugs in the White House, lead by the Thug-in-Chief, to stop by Ford headquarters and say "Nice little car company youse got dere. Be a shame was anyting to happen to it." I don't have to wonder any longer. Neither do you.

I seldom waste any emotional energy on politicians and functionaries that should be in jail, but this one really, really annoys me.

ITEM: What Should You Avoid In Men/Women? The Frisky (I just love the name of that blog!) has a concise article—with pictures!

ITEM: What's Your Gripe? He Promised To Create Jobs! Uh, but these 230,000 jobs are at the EPA, will cost 21 billion or so, and will be used to essentially shut down the economy and return us all to an 1800's standard of living. No, I'm not kidding. Put the dog outside and secure breakable objects before reading this one. Bonus: Notice the look on the face of the EPA administrator in the photo that accompanies the link. Notice the kindness and concern for the common man exuding from the page? Me neither.

ITEM: Oh, This Is Good! The Telegraph tells us about Germany's response to Mr. Obama's ideas for dealing with the EU's debt problems.

"I don't understand how anyone in the European Commission can have such a stupid idea. The result would be to endanger the AAA sovereign debt ratings of other member states. It makes no sense," the German Finance Minister said.

Yet another triumph for Obamanomics and Smart Diplomacy.

ITEM: But He's The Most Brilliant Human Who Has Ever Lived! And so is everyone who works for him. OK, so they can't tell Colorado from Wyoming, but those are both sparsely populated backwaters in flyover country where the natives are all inbred and vote for Republicans, so what do they care?

ITEM: OK, So Mr. Obama Is A Marxist Weenie, but what, exactly, is wrong with his latest "jobs" bill? Richard Epstein explains in eloquent detail here. I mean, of course, what's wrong other than creating no jobs, bankrupting us even more and faster, being a steaming basket of particularly smelly lies, that sort of thing.

ITEM: So Establishing New Jobs At About $20 Million Each Isn't A Good Thing? Good grief. The Department Of Energy under Dr. Steven Chu, the man who wants Americans to pay $10 a gallon or more for gas, recently approved a billion in federal loan guarantees for two green projects, which will create a whopping 52-55 permanent jobs! Well, at least they won't be absolutely federal jobs, just mostly federal jobs. That's about the best we can expect these days. Investor's Business Daily has the dirge.

ITEM: Louis Renault Award: Lying, Cheating Federal Bureaucrats Division. According to the good folks at Hot Air, the EPA, in pushing its lunatic greenhouse gas endangerment finding, ignored science and its own procedures. I'm shocked, shocked! It also seems that even the EPA has admitted that the regulations, which would essentially destroy the economy, will have no effect on the climate. I'm doubly shocked, shocked!

ITEM: He's Kidding, Right? Because if he's not, Barack Obama is far, far more delusional than I imagined. About what am I speaking? In a recent interview, Mr. Obama, the most over-exposed President in the history of the Republic, thinks that his problem is not his policies, but that he has not read his teleprompter at us nearly enough. Go here for the lunacy, but have an air sickness bag close at hand.

ITEM: Why Doesn't Anything Like This Happen Where I Live? Yes, it's the "Undie Run!" In, of all places, Salt Lake City. Apparently some locals ran in their underwear to encourage their Mormon state to, as one participant put it "loosen up." Well, OK. I guess that's as good a reason as any. Go here for the video.

And with those lovely images (some of these people look pretty good almost naked!), I must wish you a sad goodbye and once again urge you to drop by next Thursday for another edition of Quick Takes!