August 05, 2008

Mac & P.C. On Oil

"I'm unbearably P.C." "Hi. I'm P.C."

Future Weapons, anyone? "And I'm Mac."

"I'm unbearably P.C." "Uh, aren't you a television host? Didn't I see you on QVC?"

Future Weapons, anyone? "Yes. And no."

"I'm unbearably P.C." "Racist."

Future Weapons, anyone? "Excuse me?"

unbearably PC "Sorry. It's reflexive at this point."

"McCain "Color me... aw never mind."

"I'm unbearably P.C." "Senator McCain, so glad that you could join us. Care to explain to everyone how you're in the pocket of 'big oil?' Hmmmm?"

"McCain "Yes. And no."

"I'm unbearably P.C." "What is it with all you bald-headed white people?"

"McCain "Excuse me?"

"I'm unbearably P.C." "'Yes. And no.' Why don't you just admit that you sold your soul to the oil companies, like I said in my ad?"

"McCain "Because it isn't true. You grossly inflated individual contributions, which by the way, you miscast as corporate contributions, which we didn't take..."

"I'm unbearably P.C." "Distractions."

"McCain "...and you neglected to mention that you took almost $400,000 for individuals in the oil industry for yourself."

"I'm unbearably P.C." "Uh...Distractions?"

"McCain "As far as it goes, however, I don't mind representing the interests of what you call 'big oil.'"

"I'm unbearably P.C." "See? Always trust in me."

"McCain "Hold your water, sunshine. What I mean is that I represent the people who make up the average shareholders and investors in oil companies."

"I'm unbearably P.C." "Fat cat Republicans?"

"McCain "No. I'm talking about the union workers, the teachers, the state government employees and small businesses that have their pensions invested in oil company stocks.

You know the majority of oil company stocks are held in retirement portfolios of average Americans right?"

"I'm unbearably P.C." "Uh, no they aren't."

"McCain "Yeah. You didn't know that, did you?"

"I'm unbearably P.C." "Umm, David Gergen said only rich people own oil company stocks."

"McCain "No he didn't. He said my Moses ad mocking your divinity was racial code calling you 'uppity.'"

"I'm unbearably P.C." "Ah, that's right."

"McCain "Though he probably thinks those 'rich' teachers, unionized workers, and other people who might not vote for you are calling you 'uppity' too. Truth be told, I think he's a bit 'touched' in the head."

"I'm unbearably P.C." "That much time with the Clintons will do that to a man."

"McCain "True dat."

"I'm unbearably P.C." "What?"

"McCain "True dat?"

"I'm unbearably P.C." "What does that mean?"

"McCain "I have no idea."

"I'm unbearably P.C."

"McCain "But I hear you're doing good with your fund-raising."

"I'm unbearably P.C." "I'm wildly popular."

"McCain "So you've said before. I ran into one of your big contributors just the other day in fact."

"I'm unbearably P.C." "Them asses love me."

"McCain "Did you mean 'The masses love me"?"

"I'm unbearably P.C." "Sure. What ever floats your yacht."

"McCain "Boat."

"I'm unbearably P.C.""Distractions."

"McCain "So did you want to meet him?"

"I'm unbearably P.C.""I'm not really the touchy, feely kind.. it's why I like Internet contributions so much."

"rage boy "We Love you Barack!"

"I'm unbearably P.C." "Um, err..."

"rage boy "My brother and I are huge fans!"

"McCain "And huge donors."

"I'm unbearably P.C.""Um..."

"rage boy"We love you Barack!"

"I'm unbearably P.C.""I'm not supposed to be seen with..."

"McCain"And why is that?"

"I'm unbearably P.C." "Because stupid, racist crack— because, bitter, clin— Aw, Hell. Because some stupid people think I'm Muslim."

"McCain "But you aren't."

"I'm unbearably P.C.""So? It doesn't matter whether things are true or not. You just have to convince people that the lies are the truth."

"McCain "Do tell."

"I'm unbearably P.C.""Come on, McCain. You've been in national politics a lot longer than my 143 days. You know we have to lie to the people to get elected. Some of us more than others, but still..."

"McCain "Go on...."

"I'm unbearably P.C.""And all I need is to get them to believe until November. And he doesn't help."

"rage boy"I can haz Jerusalem?"

"I'm unbearably P.C.""Not this time around."

"rage boy"Then I'm shutting down the phone banks!"

"I'm unbearably P.C.""Well, let's not do anything rash..."

"McCain"'Hope' and 'Change,' Senator Obama?"

"I'm unbearably P.C.""'Change' doesn't fuel my jet, McCain."


Posted by Confederate Yankee at August 5, 2008 09:14 AM

Absolutely brilliant.

Posted by: Amy P. at August 5, 2008 10:30 AM

Islamic Rage Boy speaking lolcat? EPIC WIN!!!1!one!!!

Posted by: BohicaTwentyTwo at August 5, 2008 10:39 AM

LOL to "I can haz Jerusalem"

Great post

Posted by: john at August 5, 2008 11:07 AM

Off Topic. CY, here's my catch for today. AP and Reuters have two very different stories regarding Bush's visit to South Korea. The Reuters headline is Bush arrives in Seoul, anti-U.S. protest fizzles. They say about 20,000 police were ready to face off to what was supposed to be a huge protest, but only a "few hundred anti-Bush protesters" actually showed up. Meanwhile the AP article, S. Koreans fire water cannons at Bush protesters, says that there were an "estimated 20,000 anti-Bush protesters gathered nearby." I am calling shennagans. You did a good job running down the story on that AFP photo from Iraq that actually turned out to be Romania, so here's another one for you, if you like. I have to get back to work :-).

Posted by: BohicaTwentyTwo at August 5, 2008 12:02 PM

I will have you know, "I can haz Jerusalem" almost made me blow banana through my nostrils. Disaster VERY narrowly averted, thankyouverymuch.

Posted by: Lissa at August 5, 2008 02:00 PM

Freakin' Brilliant!

Posted by: William Teach at August 5, 2008 03:45 PM

Too funny!

Posted by: Big Country at August 5, 2008 07:06 PM


Brother, you owe me a keyboard. I blew oatmeal stout out my nose.

Posted by: Matt at August 5, 2008 09:32 PM