April 28, 2005
Rumor-mongering
Some are speculating that Bush's impromptu prime-time address tonight might be more than about Social Security.Actually, I have sources that tell me that "he" was actually captured. Alive.
My guess is that they'll reveal that he snuck over an unguarded U.S./Mexican border (you know, before the vigilantes shut part of it down) and has been "in country" for three years picking cucumbers in California, plotting the destruction of the Clinton Library as revenge for the cigar jockey blowing up his favorite asprin factory in Sudan.
He was only picked up when a Wendy's employee reflectively swung a butcher's knife at him as he swiped a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, severing a finger that curiously, was never recovered.
Cops followed the blood trail to Tim Robbin's house, where "he" was arrested.
The ACLU is now suing Wendy's.
Or at least that's how I heard it.
Update: False alarm. No OBL, dead or alive,was mentioned. That aside, Bush was as good tonight as I have ever seen him. He was articulate, laid out his cases on Social Security and other policies well, and handled the White House Press Corps with grace.
A very strong showing. Tigerhawk live-blogged it, and is well worth the read.
