S.H.P.W.N.A.S.

The following was culled from a series of emails sent back and forth between "R" at a small Southern software company and "J", one of their ornery Northern clients, after a software upgrade.

J,

I've taken care of item the issues please send in the latest executables. In regards to item b) there isn't a way for me to have this carry over. With the old transfer routine that was causing problems the Duplicate Value Entry Error the Customer PO Transfer was a part of the problem; thus it had to be done away with.

--R.

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R,

What does this mean to me?

--J.

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J,

It probably doesn't mean much to you, except that you'll have to hear D. bitch, moan, whine and complain about the Customer's PO Number in Other Order Entry not Defaulting to the Purchase Order Number for the Purchase Order when you transfer the items to it.

But as we all know, some things must be sacrificed in the name of progress; and I truly feel sorry that your sanity is part of what is being sacrificed.

If you want I could send up some ear plugs so you won't have to hear D. bitch, moan, whine and complain.

And just in case you're wondering yes I'm in a fabulous mood.

It's just another fabulous day in paradise down here.

--R.

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R,

Is this what they call Southern Hospitality?

--J.

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J,

I think it would be closer to southern hostility caused by the war of northern aggression; you guys call it the civil war. Maybe I'll coin a new psychological disorder SHPWNAS (Southern Hostility due to Post War of Northern Aggression Syndrome). You know if the damn liberals can claim Post Election Selection Syndrome and the ACLU / NAACP can claim that people of color my age have been directly affected by slavery, maybe the War of Northern Aggression is the cause of my mental instability.

R.

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R,

It has come to my attention that you have lost your friggin mind and have started some new hostile grass roots organizations of hostility towards the northern (and smarter) section of this fine country we live in. You lost the damn war - it's over - now stop whining like hillbilly and get back to work.

J.

Of course, J. is supposed to think that the war is over. We're just in an extended phase of lulling you Yankees into a false sense of security.

Sleep tight.