ABC NEWS: Alien Armada Targets President For Death!

Barack Obama's cascade of economic and foreign policy gaffes are apparently so great that aliens from other planets are threatening to have him killed:

Murray then said "We are on a mission to kill the president of the United States," according to the complaint.

Murray told the teller during that visit, the complaint added, "We are 94 million miles from the sun, and are in-between the sun and moon, and the eagle that flies between them, and it's a giant step for mankind. ... I have traveled thousands of miles to be here and know things that are going to happen. ... The banking system will fail and people will die. ... There will be chaos in the world."

What's worse is that the Secret Service has confirmed that Murray is just one of a vast alien conspiracy that desires to assassinate the President:

"This is one of a gazillion cases," the spokesman told ABC News. "It's not that out of the ordinary. We see this day in and day out."

A gazillion. Wow.

This strongly suggests that our President may be not just the most incompetent leader on this planet, but also the closest thing to Zaphod Beeblebrox in this and surrounding galaxies.

For those of you unfamiliar with Beeblebrox, he was, for a short time, the President of the Galaxy which was according to Wikipedia's summary, "(a role that involves no power whatsoever, and merely requires the incumbent to attract attention so no one wonders who's really in charge, which is a role Zaphod was perfectly suited for)."

Through a colossal accounting error known as the 2008 Presidential Election, Barack Obama was selected to the same assignment, traveling around making inane speeches that inflame allies and encourage our enemies while making humiliating protocol errors like giving foreign heads of state tawdry department store gifts that don't work.

So either Barack Obama is a such a dangerously incompetent leader that the entire galaxy wants him offed, or a fawning media is looking for any chance at all to whip up hysteria by making famous each and every crank they hear about.

I wonder which it is.