Fun With Vocabulary! Really!

At the beginning of each school year, I have a dilemma: How best to encourage seven separate sections of high school English students to enjoy and appreciate words? Building a large and flexible vocabulary is obviously important, but it's not so obvious to teenagers whose growing bodies are awash with love hormones and who often have the attention spans of gnats.

One of several methods I use is an unusual vocabulary quiz that illustrates the importance of knowing the denotations (definitions) and connotations (images and ideas associated with the word) of words. Because it's fun and provokes much delighted snickering (you'll see what I mean), the kids enjoy it, and it conditions them to do and even enjoy more traditional vocabulary work. We English teachers are sneaky that way (cue flashing lightning, thunder and maniacal laughter)!

So in honor of Labor Day—and hopefully you're resting from your labors—here's a bit of fun with vocabulary. The answers appear after the jump. Don't peek or you'll be looking at detention, little mister/missy!

Directions: Answer each question with a yes or no.

(1) It is a presidential election year. The candidate you intend to vote for, responding to a sensational news story, admits that he is a practicing HETEROSEXUAL. Should you vote for him?

(2) Your favorite minister, responding to persistent rumors, admits to the congregation that despite being married for 26 years, he has consistently practiced MONOGAMY. Should he be run off?

(3) You have had your eye on a guy/girl for some time. You’re sure that they will go out with you if you ask, but you learn that they are POLYDACTYL. Would it be medically safe to ask them out?

(4) Your favored candidate for the U.S. Senate delivers a speech wherein he announces his absolute support for FEDERALISM. Would it be un-American to vote for him?

(5) You are seriously considering voting for an obviously intelligent, capable candidate for the U.S. House of Representatives when you learn that he is a lifelong LIBERTARIAN. Would it be moral to vote for him?

(6) The President is running for reelection. He proudly states that he will aggressively pursue a FECKLESS foreign policy. Should he be reelected, particularly during wartime?

(7) Your favored candidate for the U.S. Senate is forced to admit that he once EXPECTORATED in the presence of women and children. Does this make him unfit for office?

(8) You are considering voting for a presidential candidate, but during a campaign speech, he says that he believes that all women must be ENFRANCHISED. Is he against women?

(9) The man/woman you intend to marry tells you that he/she is very serious about POSTERITY. Should you be worried?

(10) Your boy/girlfriend suddenly demands that you kiss them on their RICTUS. Do you run away?

(11) You are considering dating a very attractive guy/girl until a friend tells you they have a well-deserved reputation for TRUCULENCE. Should you date them?

(12) You are considering dating a very attractive guy/girl until a friend tells you that they are ODIFEROUS. Would it be fun to date them?

(13) The opponent of your favored presidential candidate delivers a passionate campaign speech wherein he accuses your candidate of MASTICATING at least three times a day. Should you be concerned about this?

(14) The opponent of your favored presidential candidate delivers another passionate campaign speech wherein he asserts that your candidate has led an IMMORTAL life. Is this a reasonable charge?

(15) The opponent of your favored presidential candidate delivers yet another passionate campaign speech wherein he claims that your candidate supports FLUORIDATION and has a distinctly COPERNICAN view of the Earth. Should you be concerned?

ANSWERS:

(1) HETEROSEXUAL: He is attracted to the opposite sex. So most Americans would have no problem voting for him. California is another thing entirely.

(2) MONOGAMY: Don't run him off! He has been faithful to his wife. For a minister, that's a good thing!

(3) POLYDACTYL: Medically safe? Yes. They have more than the usual number of fingers or toes. This one usually creeps out many of my kids.

(4) FEDERALISM: Considering that Federalism is our way of government, this one is OK. Yes, I know our current federal government doesn't recognize Federalism, but I'm just an English teacher. It's not my fault.

(5) LIBERTARIAN: It's moral to vote for him. Libertarians want maximum personal freedom and minimal government intrusion. Yes, I know our current federal government doesn't buy this either and it's still not my fault.

(6) FECKLESS: No, he should not be reelected as he plans to pursue a weak and ineffective foreign policy. Hey! That sounds familiar…

(7) EXPECTORATED: Unfit for office? Nah. He spat. If that's the worst he's done, he's a virtual saint compared to many of our politicians.

(8) ENFRANCHISED. No, he's not against women; he just wants them to be able to vote.

(9) POSTERITY: You should not be worried unless that is you don't want children. Posterity is future generations, your offspring. My kids snicker at this one as it reminds them of "posterior."

(10) RICTUS: Don't run away! They want a kiss on the mouth. Well, maybe run away… This one causes the kids to run around for a week or so asking everyone in sight for a kiss on the rictus.

(11) TRUCULENCE: Don't date them! They're nasty and aggressive—I mean, unless you like that sort of thing…

(12) ODIFEROUS: Fun? Well, considering they're smelly, it may not be so much fun, again, unless you like that sort of thing…

(13) MASTICATING: No, you shouldn't be concerned. He's being accused of chewing—essentially eating—three times a day. Oh yes, this one really has the kids snickering.

(14) IMMORTAL: Unless he's Duncan MacLeod, the Highlander, it's not a reasonable charge: he's being accused of living forever.

(15) FLUORIDATION/COPERNICAN: Concerned? Nah. He supports putting Fluoride in drinking water to protect tooth enamel (happens just about everywhere) and believes that the Earth orbits the Sun (which it does).